This was about three years ago, on Harvard Ave right on the Brookline/Alston line. You were wearing a light blue floppy hat and a tight denim skirt that went swish swoooooooosh swish swooooooooosh as you sauntered down the street. I rode past you on my bicycle and almost crashed, I immediately crossed over to your side of the street and pretended to examine my tire as you walked past – but in truth my eyes were feasting upon your abundant cleavage, which could barely be contained by your lacey white blouse.
Please, before you jump to conclusions – it was by no means a perverted leer I gave your breasts, or for that matter a lecherous peering – no, I assure you – I stared at your breasts as if I was gazing upon the Goyas at the Prado in Madrid, or worshiping at the Rothko chapel in Houston, Texas.
BUT from this moment on.. I have done nothing but meditate upon your breasts – yes, three years later – I STILL cannot get your breasts out of my head, and I am afraid I am going TOTALLY INSANE. I have even tried therapy – yes I am not lying – your breasts have driven me to therapy.
First I had 5 sessions with a Dr. L-, who, while being Male, was unfortunately not a “Breast Man” and thus incapable of understanding the seriousness of my situation. Then, I spent 100 dollars on a one female Dr. N- who terminated our relationship after ONE mere session, she informed me she was simply unprepared for the “intensity” and “fervor” of my fantasies regarding ‘breasts’. But if you could have heard the way Dr. N- said “breasts” I am sure you would have come to the same conclusions I came to – that Dr. N- is a woman unhappy with her own breasts and in no way interested in listening to a man declare his never-ending love, devotion and fealty to a pair of breasts he isn’t even acquainted with.
But – this craigslist posting is going to change that! (It has to, for now that I am unemployed – I have no more access to the subsidized therapy) Yes, thanks to craigslist I am going to get to climb my mountain(s), I am going to bask in the dazzling light of your aureole(s), Its going to be one hell of a summit, this I am sure of.
Well, somewhat sure of…
Which is why I now open this MC invitation to every woman who clicked on this link believing that someone had noticed her perfect breasts. You should write me, for I am a true connoisseur of the breast, a patron of the crest, and a lover of the best.
And since we are in an inclusive mood today I would like to extend this invite to ALL women who believe their wonderful breasts are underappreciated or underrated – drop me a line and I promise to assuage all your uncertainties and reservations you may have concerning your breasts.