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You just left our apartment with your broker and cute friends. You know, it was the one where the power had just died and you guys were knocking on our decoy door. My roommate and I both proclaimed an infatuation with the lot of you when you left! I have one problem though... you came in, saw my bedroom, the terrible state of our bathrooms, piles of videogames and the fact that I sleep on the floor. Please allow me to rationalize the situation.
The bedroom - Well, I haven't cleaned in weeks and I'm at the tail end of the laundry cycle. This is usually accompanied by a rather large and unkempt pile of clothes spilling out of the closet onto the floor. This Friday was no exception.
The bathroom - I am sorta glad that the power was still out for that portion of the tour. The flashlight you had certainly did not provide enough light to get a full realization of JUST how much dirt was crusted in the corner behind the door. It just doesn't get foot traffic, and normally the door it open and it's hidden from view.
The videogames - Well. I play a lot of videogames. But I do a lot of other things too, I swear!
The Sleeping on the floor - See above, I'm too busy doing other things than to sleep on a "bed". Pfft. Getting UP in the morning isn't a challenge when you're on top of a 4 foot tall pillowtop that requires a fireman's pole to dismount. It takes gumption to sleep on the floor!
I am glad I deftly planted that Vonnegut book by the overflowing hamper that you casually noticed, as well as that bass guitar. If I had known you were coming, I would have hid the floormattress and pretended that I didn't live like a hobo, but I am glad you didn't because apparently you are of the same persuasion!
Anyways, you seemed cool and I feel that it's totally unfair that you got to root through the kinda things (bathroom, sleeping area, embarrassing hobbies) that usually don't crop up until the second or third date. That being the case, I think you desperately owe some reciprocation!
- Location: Cambridge
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