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It's me: the one who you tried to convince was your soul mate between midtown and north atlanta. I was actually naive enough to be flattered when you first gave me your number and asked me out to dinner. After all, it's nice to be noticed. After you've been happily married for over 10 years and have two awesome kids, it's not often that you get hit on by someone other than your husband. So, granted, I forgave your creepy forwardness in loo of my sudden feeling of "yeah, I still got it." But then you had to go and get loopy on me. You just couldn't help but to ruin it. You had to keep talking, despite the fact that I stopped making eye contact with you the last 20 minutes of your desperate monologue of growing ardor. Despite the fact that everyone around us was giving me sympathetic glances and sad little smiles your way. I support taking chances. It can be tough meeting new people and i'm sure that dating at 40 has its challenges. But learn a small measure of respect for yourself, man. And for that matter, learn to respect the one you're trying to pick up. No girl is going to be reeled in by your pathetic proclaimations of love in the time it takes to order a hamburger. Unless you're Brad Pitt. And unfortuantely for you, you're not. And learn to read social cues, for God's sake. If a girl isn't responding, it's time to back off. If she mentions that you could be a serial killer, it doesn't mean she's trying to be cute. It means she's geniunely uncomfortable with your advances. Even though i'm irritated that you fucked up my nice quiet ride home this afternoon, I am grateful for your help in making me understand the true importance of an ipod. You retard.
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