best of craigslist > washington, DC > Fucking Cicadas
Originally Posted: 2004-05-26 12:24am

Fucking Cicadas

To the little fucker who dive bombed me on my way to lunch. You retarded, blind, little shit. You flew into the back of my ear while I was crossing the street! People laughed and pointed while I had, what looked like, an epileptic seizure. Bitch.

To the sneaky bastard who tried to smuggle himself into my office after lunch. My boss spotted you on my shoulder. I looked like a fucking sailor with his bug-parrot. I hope you liked the smack down I gave you.

To the beltway hitchhiker(s). For stupid bugs, you guys sure have good aim. Who would've thunk that two little shits like you could fly INTO a moving car! The first one landed on my passenger seat near Georgia Ave. You are more retarded than most of your friends (which is impressive). All you could do was fall over yourself and get stuck in the seams of my car seats. I didn't even have to fuck with you. Your friend though.... oh that muthafucka.... He flew into my driver's side window and smacked me in the throat! At 60mph!! That shit hurt. I almost rear-ended the Saturn in front of me because of you! But I had the last laugh... After you kamikazied my throat, your dumb ass got scared and flew to that back of my car, right at the base of the rear windshield. As soon as I saw your ass camped on my speakers, I cranked up the stereo. I hope you enjoyed 110dB of Dandy Warhols from half an inch away!!!


this is in or around everywhere

post id: 32135822

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