best of craigslist > washington, DC > RANT: Cereal
Originally Posted: 2006-09-29 10:31am

RANT: Cereal

I hate cereal. For a number of reasons.

First, If I'm eating you, then I didn't get any last night. If I get laid then one of us likely spending the night at the others house. If that's the case, I usually do good enough to earn home cooked bacon and eggs or pancakes. Or, if we stay at myplace, which has no bacon, eggs, nor pancake ingredients then we usually go out and get something. If I'm eating cereal...I'm eating cereal alone

Second, if I'm eating cereal. Then I didn't work out in the morning. Oatmeal is get up and work out food. Cereal is I slept too late food.

Third, I despise when you open a new box of cereal and then the plastic bag inside is oh about a third full. Third-A, I feel ripped off. I bought a third of a box of cereal for full price. Third-B, as someone who likes the environment, if you're going to sell me a third of a box of cereal. Put it in a third of a box. For our trees and Al Gore's sake.

Forth, The plastic bag never rips open well. It's a hassle to open it. I'm already frustrated because I didn't get laid the night before, now I have to fight with a plastic bag a third filled with cereal. When it finally rips, it rips funny so that the cereal doesn't pour but instead gets clogged up in the opening. I'm alone, horney, getting fatter, frustrated and hungry. I shake the box and the entire third of the box spills into the bowl and on the counter. Now I'm alone, horney, getting fatter, frustrated, hungry and picking cereal up off of the floor...

damn cereal

  • this is in or around Pa(in in the ass)ntry
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post id: 213801475

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