best of craigslist > toronto > You probably cant handle the truth
Originally Posted: 2006-10-03 7:06pm

You probably cant handle the truth

I have been dating for almost two years now and ive finally decided to post everything about myself upfront to save the both of us time and aggravation. Normally you would find out in due time what i am about to tell you about myself, but i dont have the energy to go through all the dates, bonding and heartache of you leaving when you find out what i am truly like. SO here goes.

I am 28, intellegent and have been told by many that i am beautiful. I own my own home, i am employed and independant. I consider myself to be very easy going, i love to laugh and im not materalistic. I love to cook, i enjoy camping, photography, gardeneing and history. I love music, mostly classic rock. I play the acoustic gutiar, i love doing laundry, i have 5 cats which i love to death and i do a dead on impersination of Cartman fron South Park.

Behind closed doors, there is another side to me that many dont get to see. I do have some habits and traits that are unnattractive. Here they are in no particular order.

-When i fart, ill bend over so i can smell it. I will usually take 2 or 3 smells as i like the smell of my farts.

-when i scratch my ass, i smell my finger

-Sometimes, no matter how much i wipe my ass, i still get skid marks in my thong or panties.

-i pick my nose and eat it.

-i have gone up to a month without brushing my teeth.

-i have usually wear the same pair of panties for several days until they are crusted yellow in the crotch and they smell like ammonia.

-I shower about once a week.(unless im working or have a date)

- i let a dog lick my pussy once.

-if i drop food on the floor, ill pick it up and eat it. I have also taken food out of my trash can and eaten it.

-I used to use my ex roomates vibrator.
-I had head lice for seven years and did nothing about it.
-When i floss my teeth or pop zits, ill smell what came out.

-I like to eat the fat from meat(i.e. steak fat, roast beef fat ect.) I also will eat the grisle and soft bones.

- when i masterbate, i like to call myself a dirty slut out loud and i shove a tooth brush down my throat to make myself gag while i climax.

-When i havent showered for a week, my arm pits stink like cheeseburgers, and my crotch smells like ammonia,urine and funk.

-i usually dont wipe myself after i piss, which is probably the reason why my crotch smells the way i said above. Its probably why i end up with diaper rash between my legs.

- i have an obsession with popping zits. i will for hours sit naked infront of a mirror and search my entire body for a zit to pop. And yours too.

-I also have terrible acne on my ass

- I lie. Alot. About everything.

-Im a hypocrite. I will persicute others for something that i secretly do myself.

-I have no guilty consious.

-I am evil. If you do something to harm me, or even just piss me off, i will do whatever i can to make you miserable. I will stoop to the lowest levels. I will even resort to illegal activities to fuck someone over.

-I am twofaced. I will greet you with open arms, and when you walk away, ill tell everyone still standing there that deep dark secret you were stupid enough to share with me.

-I have no shame. I would fuck someone in my parents bed, i would snoop through someone elses stuff, i would pick my nose and wipe it on your pillow, i would keep your wallet if i found your purse, i would promise to drive you to see your dying mother and then not show so i could catch an episode of prison break, then lie to you and say my car broke down.

- Ill sleep with anyone, and on the first date.

-Ill make a promise with no intention of keeping it.

So, thats me, in a nutshell. The good, the bad and the ugly. But you know what? I make a mean Spaghetti Sauce.



  • this is in or around In my own private hell
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