best of craigslist > spokane > Your Friendly Argonne Bicyclist
Originally Posted: 2008-07-15 8:08am

Your Friendly Argonne Bicyclist

Dear Motorists;

I know, my jiggly keister plugging along at 11 measley miles an hour down a busy road isn't precisely what you want to deal with on your morning commute. I assure you, it's not what I want either. If there was another route, you wouldn't need to deal with me, and I would not need to be nervous about you. In my own defense, please consider;

*I can't afford gas. It's what, dangerously close to a certain amusing number of cents per gallon? I paid $4.29 for the cheap stuff this weekend, but that was elsewhere in the state where they somehow get away with more taxes or profit.

*Before you ask me to get a job to fix the previous item-- I already have one. It's even full time. Yet, I can only afford to feed two of the following: The Cat, Me, and the Car. The car, obstensibly, loses due to the fact that, a) a cat is unimaginably obnoxious when hungry and b) so am I. The car however, does not become obnoxious when not fed three times a day. It just declines to run.

*I know I am wearing a backpack. This is not counterindicative of an office job. I work at a real desk, in fact, a kind of big desk, with pictures of my family on the corner. I even have a WINDOW office. I still cannot afford gas. My job is not the problem. The expenses of life are the problem. And b y the expenses of life, I do not mean drugs or alcohol. I mean food.

*I AM attempting to follow traffic laws to the best of my abillity as is required by law, these guarentee that every morning you will have at least a few opputunities to scare the daylights out of me. I don't mind if you do, everyone needs a thrill to wake them up, but please, don't actually hit the bike, or god forbid, me. I can't afford gas, like I was saying, so I certainly can't afford big medical bills. You happen to be driving which means most likely you can't afford big medical bills either. Or the jump in your insurance premium.

*I use hand-signals. It's actually fairly easy to figure out where I'm going and do a quick lane change and avoid getting stuck anywhere near me. Also, my route is fixed, I try very hard to not deviate from it timewise either. (I always try to go when it is least congested).

* Have you noticed that the jiggly keister is getting smaller? This is an awesome side effect of using a people-powered machine to drag off to work in the morning. I highly recomend it for cellulite as well.

Again, I know this is not perfect. But then, neither is commuting in a car or hopping the bus (whole 'nother post for that gig), so let's make nice out on Argonne.

Sincerely,

The Bicyclist

  • Location: Argonne at Montgomery
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 755827626

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