best of craigslist > spokane > Imaginary Friend for LIFE! - m4w
Originally Posted: 2009-08-27 11:17am

Imaginary Friend for LIFE! - m4w

So I not get much play lately. Try meet ladies in bar but no so good. See a piece of whistle bait and Bigfoot make move, me pretty smoove. Go to jukebox, put on Whitesnake nod along to 'here I go again on me own', Check fly, check mouth stink, order two white russians and saunter over. I say: 'hello, this seat take?" Most time lady just run, scream, sometime pepperspray. Worst is when they do silent scream and vomit trickle down chin like hot fudge on sundae. How a guy supposed recover from that? Onetime girl friendly let Bigfoot sit. I figure things good to go so I mark her with musk so other suitor know "Stay Away, She Bigfoot!" NO GOOD! She allergic to Bigfoot stink and go into anaphalaxis. Now me on to web personals, Bigfoot write clever.

SEX: ALPHA MALE, JR. SILVERBACK
ETHNICITY: BIGFOOT/NATIVE AMERICAN
LOCATION: NEXT TO CRANBERRY BUSH AND STUMP
EDUCATION: DEVRY
LOOKING FOR: HOT SHEFOOT
OCCUPATION: FOREST GENTLEMAN

HEIGHT: 7'1"
WEIGHT: LOTS
EYES: SMALL
HAIR: MATTED, BROWN, GREEN MARIGOLD
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SAD AND LONELY
WANT CHILDREN: SMALL LITTER

ACTIVITIES: JAZZERSCIZE, T-BALL, DISEMBOWELING, TAXIDERMY, RUNNING FROM CAMERAS, FILTH HOARDING, CHILLIN', CRYING SELF TO SLEEP

CELEBRITY I MOST RESEMBLE: GOD DAMN CHEWBACCA, MALCOLM JAMAL WARNER, MESELF, COUSIN IT FROM ADDAMS FAMILY

IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW: DOLLY PARTON'S UTERUS, ON A BEACH IN THAILAND READING SARTRE SO ME CAN BE DIPSHIT STEREOTYPE HIPSTER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON HERE. AT SIX FLAGS EATING FIVE CORN DOGS BY FOUR PORT-A-JOHNS AT THREE IN THE AFTERNOON ON SECOND DAY OF JANUARY.

MOST HUMBLING MOMENT: ONETIME I WALKING DOWN RED CARPET AT FOREST CREATURE AWARDS AND I STEP IN DOG DOO. IF THAT NOT BAD ENOUGH SOME REPORTER THINK HE FUNNY AND SAY, "YOU REALLY PUT YOUR BIGFOOT IN IT NOW BIGFOOT!" SO I DO WHAT SEEM LIKE RIGHT THING AT TIME AND TEAR HIM HEAD OFF AND USE TO CLEAN FOOT. THEN I REMEMBER I NOMINATED FOR GOOD CITIZEN AWARD FOR ME GOOD WORK WITH KID WHAT WEAR HOCKEY HELMET ALL TIME. WHAT A PICKLE, WHAT A PICKLE.

WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME: HEY I LIKE EASY GOING GUY, KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME BUT CAN ALSO BE SEXY AS ALL GET OUT. GIVE GOOD BACK RUBS, SOMETIME MIGHT CRACK RIB BUT NOTHING THAT BOTTLE OF CHAMPALE IN BUBBLE BATH NO FIX. I PRETTY CLEAN GUY TOO, FAMILY OF VOLES IN ARMPIT TAKE CARE OF BIGFOOT LICE, EARWIG, SILVERFISH, DUNG BEETLE, NITS, GNATS, EARTHWORM, TAPE WORM, GARTER SNAKE, WASP NESTS, ANT COLONY, TERMITE MOUND, CRABS, SCABS, SCABIES, SHINGLES, FOOT BITS, SHIT BITS, DINGLEBERRIES, PINK EYE, GREEN EYE AND SO ON. I SMELL LIKE COMPOST BUT COMPOST SMELL LIKE FALL AND FALL VERY NICE WITH PRETTY LEAVES AND PUNKIN' PIE SO YOU JUST VISUALIZE THAT AS YOU DRY HEAVE AND EVERYTHING BE OK.

  • Location: PacNorth Woods
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 1345338884

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