best of craigslist > SF bay area > Holy....cannoli
Originally Posted: 2005-07-08 10:27pm

Holy....cannoli

Okay, I really screwed up. In an attempt to broaden my horizons and learn more about my new hometown of SF, I started reading the Rants and Raves on Craigslist, and then, as if this was not bad enough, I posted an ad in the w4m section, looking for a man.

My bad.

Apparently many of the good men of San Francisco have decided that women are too uppity for their own good. I have never, ever in my life come across such cynicism and disdain. Kinda sexy - but then they wonder why we don't call. Yeeeeeesh. Folks - I do NOT know what kind of experiences you all have had, but we're not all that awful!

Below are some of the responses I got to my ad...culled for your reading pleasure. And while I am at it, are there any single, non-jaded men out there who will let ME be the one to screw them up? I am 5'10, long hair, 2 eyes, and a law student. Again, I am looking for smarts, and tall is not bad either.



I really don’t care if you like to hike or watch movies, or whatever. Who cares? They are just activities.
(SCALE BACK ON THE PROZAC!)

We in Europe find this measure system very lame and primitive. The rules in English are so lame that it isn't even worth to learn them.
( Translation: I am not pompous or pretentious. And I cannot afford a thesaurus, so I shall just keep repeating the same insult.)

I think GOD should just end everything and start over. I think that's the only solution and I'm not even religious. Reality bites.
(STEP UP on the Prozac!)

I don't respond to too many ads, but yours caught my eye cause unlike a lot of bayarea women, you seem quite intelligent.
(Ladies? If you want his address, let me know.)

I partake in the superficial conversations expected of me at my job.
(Well, as long as you aren't condescending or anything.....)

The tough part has been finding beautiful women with substance.
(yep.)

If you can sing cheesy italian or french love songs while preparing the witch's brew to cast spells on evil SUV driving , ozone layer busting suburban capitalist pigs , great.
(think he voted for Bush?)

Reply only if you are not an evil, cursing, venomous, vindictive, venal, vile, spiteful, bad spell-casting, foul-mouthed, psychic therefore psycho witch.
(Oh, crap.)

i hardly want to endeveour a long drawn out first meeting since i really dont have the time.
(let alone the time to run spell-check)

Okay. There was too much information in that posting. Why do you look low upon guys that just want to get laid? They can't help it, it's natural. Better that, than half of the guys out there turning gay huh? You should appreciate men. Everything you have today, in comfort and safety comes from the efforts of men...
(How some woman hasn't snapped you up....)

And good luck with your search for Mr. Right. Unless he's not me. In that case, you should probably suffer a rash.
(Ha! Talk about bowing out gracefully.)

I to have met some really scary women, the kind that you just dont want to upset them. Like the type that will pick you up like a rag doll and toss you aimlessly around the parking lot of crispy cremes.
(Whoa. Uh, I guess I would have to say….stay out of the Crispy Crème parking lot?)

I was never popular with my peers …hated would not be too strong a term to describe junior high, ignored would describe the rest…
("Yeah, MY issues are never going to come up in our relationship...")

Finally - A cute, seemingly intelligent woman interested in a true affair - and NOT one of the CraigsList prostitutes!!!!
(A-duh?)

I'm sick and tired of the most of the girls I hang out with who believe they should be treated better than the next girl just because they have BA degree in some bogus good for nothing major. I'm surrounded by the pseudo-intellectual ugly fat girls who think they should be considered smart just because they listen to NPR
("People describe me as kind, sensitive...sweet....")

so you say you're tall huh. so is that code for you're really a man.
(My eyes actually rolled back in my head for a split second after I read this. I am 5’10 or so, which was NORMAL in Wisconsin. Way to flatter the tall girls.)

it is my opinion that 9 out of 10 women are not actually funny
(It is my opinion that 13 out of 14 women hate men who make statistics up.)

I have great disdain for passive aggressive behavior and must stay clear of such folks so that I do not feel an unbearable excess of contempt
(Pot? Kettle?)

[music]....it is what i feel gives me purpose...its an artistic,emotional and spiritual outlet where I can I can spew all of my poison out where I can inspire myself aswell as others singing songs about greif,confusion,hatred,self pity,rebellion,love,sadness....
(Option 1. I seek a compassionate, stable woman so I can totally FUCK up her life, too.
Option 2. I seek a similar woman for a fulfilling relationship punctuated by knife throwing, overdoses, restraining orders, accidental piercings, and muskrat love – must be open to the idea of having children.)

I have met women whose sexual needs are more complicated than a Mensa exam.
(Translation: I have no idea how to make a woman come.)

I'm tired of the CLdance around with a bunch of dumb b*tches.
(And yet you keep trying....)

It would be nice to possibly meet someone who does not have neurotic hysteria running thru their veins, waiting to explode any minute.
(Stop picking up women in coffee shops. And by the way, no woman will ever date you if you make a statement like that. No woman, and I mean NO woman, would ever want to fuck with an ex-lover you describe that way.)



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