Dear Tom B. of Daly City,
I found your wallet.
Saturday night at Lush you came on to me. I turned you down politely but you had to get a little nasty and huff off. That wasn’t enough for you though, because then you took it a step further and sexually and verbally assaulted me by the bathrooms 20 minutes later. In your haste to depart after I started to yell, you dropped your wallet out of your coat pocket. Bummer.
I’m so sorry to report that your wallet inadvertently landed in the bay, somewhere along the Bay Bridge, I think. Oh yeah, and I’m afraid that condom that expired in 1999, your credit cards, ATM, and social security card (you really shouldn’t carry that around, you know) accidentally fell onto the street somewhere on Polk Street. Oops. (What else do you expect from a "stupid bitch" like me who has the audacity to reject you?)
Since your wallet is now in the bay, I didn’t know where to send the money. I tried the phone book under "Funny-looking-Rapist-With-Foul-Breath"” and “Short-Dude-With-Chip-On-Shoulder” and even "Slightly-Retarded-Looking-Guy-With-Bad-Toupee” but, alas, there were no listings.
Since you spent part of the night telling me stories that emphasized how sensitive and caring you are, I figured you’d be happy to know that I donated the rather large sum of cash to a rape crisis center.
Hopefully the next rape you are involved in will be your own. In prison.
Sincerely,
~ The "Stupid Bitch" who rejected you.
this is in or around Instant Karma in Action