The "Rules" for dating on Craigslist. (A humorous look at our addiction.)
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Ok, so you love Craigslist.
By now you probably found a job, an apartment and sold a bunch o' crap you never needed in the first place and perhaps even found a cool organization to volunteer your free time in the pursuit of equal rights for hairless cats.
Now you have decided you're tired of the bar scene so you have decided to put your faith back into your good buddy Craig, but for some reason it's just not working or you are afraid it's going to be Freddy Kreuger out there or something.
Well have no fear, here are just a few simple guidelines to help make your internet dating experience a little easier. Yes, this is a real ad so at the end, if you want to email me, I would enjoy hearing from you.
1. Have absolutely NO EXPECTATIONS. Anything beyond expecting your date to breathe will just be a disappointment and frankly it leaves a whole lot of room for upside.
2. Pictures – Fine it’s ok to ask for pictures. Please make sure it’s a natural/real picture. The ones from Glamour shots simply cry out with…”This is the absolute best I ever look” , not really a good sign. Plus the frosted edges are cheddar cheesy. Additionally, please stop expecting Brad Pitt to show up in your in box. It’s funny how women complain that men view them as sexual objects yet one of the first questions a woman asks in the interenet dating world is “Can I see your picture?”
3. Plan on meeting for no more than one hour. Keep it simple coffee, a drink or hell split a $.69 bottle of water. Again this follows the no expectation policy. If you decide you want to hang out longer, that's cool. But have you ever been on a date for 2 hours that felt like 2 years. You know the kind where the other person has as much personality as a wet public school mop that's been sitting in the janitor's closet for about two weeks and smells oh so fantastic!!? I went on one of those once, and actually thought I would prefer drinking the mop water.
4. Be honest. Seriously, if you lie even a little bit, it's going to be very obvious. Example: I weigh about 135. Uhhh, no you don't, it's more like 150. Say it, own it, love it, because it's you, and you better love yourself before you try to loves someone else.
5. Email Tag: You really shouldn't trade more than about 3 emails each before you decide to talk on the phone. Any more than that and you will have been better off falling in love with Fabio from the cheesy romance novel you are reading. Emails are great, they are a good safe way to get to know someone initially, but you really aren't going to find out about the chemistry thing via email
5a.--For example, you probably are really enjoying this posting and thinking, what a fantastic, witty guy. Well... you are right about that, but keep in mind your imagination can play tricks on you. Very similar to loving the book but hating the movie syndrome.--
6. If at some point you have traded emails, and you finally decide you are not interested, please just send a nice email back saying something like: "Hey, it's been nice chatting, but I just don't think I'm up for taking this further". It's much nicer than just ignoring someone.
7. If you respond to more than 5 Craigslist postings a day, please stop, back away from the computer and get at least one new hobby.
8. If you spend over 2 hours per day just reading Craigslist but never responding to an ad, please refer back to #5.
9. If you spend over 2 hours per day reading Craigslist and responding to 10 ads per day, please increase the dosage and tell your shrink you need an extra appointment this week.
10. If you go out with a guy and really like him, please don't go back looking to see if his ad is still on Craigslist after your first date. It was just a first date, you aren't engaged yet.
11. Please submit your rule here. I will gladly update the list just for fun.
12. Be genuine, sincere, honest, and respectful. Even in this day and age, you will get it back 10 fold.
So now you have read this much and you want to know a little bit about the author, well here goes....
I am a 34, fit, cute, fun(ny), witty, Jewish (you don't have to be), SWM. I am 5'11, 190, in good shape, really short hair (this means receding) and thinking of shaving the whole thing, so if you want Howard Stern's type hair on a guy, keep looking.
I live in the fake/plastic part of the city (aka The Marina) but I am actually very normal and down to earth. I actually live here because it is a great neighborhood. It's fun, active, lots of things to do, even if you want to do nothing. I could just do without some of the attitudes on peoples faces around here.
I am originally from the south, went to college in Arizona (U of A), and have lived in Denver and Cleveland before moving here about 4 1/2 years ago. I've got a great job in the computer industry. While I could afford a new Beemer, I'm sticking with my 95 Honda Civic. Why, you may ask? Simply because it's paid for, and while I could afford a $500 a month car payment, it just seems like I can have a lot more fun with the money in my pocket, not in someone else's.
My favorite activities are running, golf, and playing my guitar (beginner, taking lessons, so no serenades yet but soon, I promise.) I enjoy going to museums, theater, movies, hanging out in GG Park, and frankly just about anything outdoors.
Now I don't mean to be too picky, but there are a few things I would like to find in a woman:
Funny - To go for the long haul, you have to keep each other laughing.
Motivated - You don't have to be a career woman, just passionate about what you do, even if you want to be a mom, just be sure you want to do it.
Happy With Yourself - Let's face it, if you aren't happy with you, chances are you aren't going to be happy with someone else.
Sexy - You don't have to be a Victoria Secrets model but you should enjoy being a woman as much as I like being a man.
Baseball Hat - Ok, you don't have to actually be a baseball hat, but there is something cool about a woman who can wake up, throw on a hat and head out for the day.
Sassy - I will let you define that.
Fit - While I am not looking for you to be on the cover of Muscle & Fitness, I stay healthy and would like the same in my potential partner in crime.
Age - Hmmm, not an issue, let's just say you should have enough life experiences to be mature yet fun, but not so mature that you are looking to walk down the aisle in 6 months.
So if anything I have said strikes a chord with you, send me one of your 3 emails and we can see where it goes from there. Perhaps we can share a $.69 bottle of water.
Hey, even if you don't want to meet you could at least nominate me for Best of Craigslist.