♥ YOU TARZAN. ME JANE. No, wait. Tarzan confused now ♥

• Live through thirty summers and winters.

• Level head, but sometimes off wall.

• Big brain! Spend over ten years at big universities! Get important pieces of paper! But maybe spent too much time in front of glowing boxes and chalkboards with funny symbols. Only talk in grunts and computer code. Can type two thousand words in minute, as long as all those words "argh".

• Not stand really high. Only bit more than five-nine. If Jane have height fetish, maybe Tarzan fix Jane up with big ape friend Bobo instead.

• Like smashing little blue bouncy ball with racket! But need partner for ball-smashing game, or it get boring fast.

• Love following waves into shore with no board! But water in Bay Area too cold. Tarzan only like blue balls in smashing game.

• Sometimes try making noises on thing with six strings. Tarzan no good, but Tarzan think it sound pretty now and then anyhow. Maybe some day Tarzan become big rock star like Radiohead, but for now Tarzan stay at big happy successful new company with glowing boxes.

• Usually mellow, but sometimes get urge to do interesting new thing like tour land of baguette-eaters or jump out of big metal bird.

• Have own web site! Has photos of Tarzan and land of baguette-eaters. Also more Tarzan grunts and Tarzan "art". Probably more than Jane want to know.

• Between twenty-three and thirty-three summers old? Tarzan somewhat flexible.

• Have sense of humor. Must make Tarzan laugh! But Tarzan laugh easy, especially if Jane smart.

• Help drag Tarzan away from glowing boxes for more time near trees and waves. Like trying new things! But Tarzan not push Jane out of big metal bird if Jane not want.

• "Rubenesque" OK, but not make Tarzan fear for life.

• Not just respond "Jane like Tarzan ad! So, tell Jane more about Tarzan." Tarzan need something to work with!

Well, hopefully I've at least managed to convince you I've got a functioning sense of humor. Chest-thumpin' testosterone-spewin' Tarzan schtick aside, though, I'm basically just another sarcastic but sweet, somewhat shy Silicon Valley brainiac seeking a bright, mischievous spirit with whom to revel in the wonderful weirdness of the universe. No geekophobes or schizophrenic three-nostrilled lemurs, please.