Found on my bridge: 1 Gerbil, 6" high, bipedal, with sweatband, black belt martial art uniform, swiveling hips and 1 mace.
Gerbil will dance for you to the tune of "Kung Fu Fighting" when you squeeze his left arm.
I, in turn, am not a gerbil and will not dance for you when you squeeze my arm.
Please come pick up this gerbil before I lose all respect for my junior officer, who finds a dancing gerbil in a sweatband incredibly funny and complex. We will leave it on Rosecrans, near the submarine base, with the Marines. Hurry, for God sake.
PS, I was just informed by my ENS that this is not a gerbil, but instead, a hamster. I stand corrected.
this is in or around USN 4th Fleet Pacific