No More Sex With Fruit
Then one day she left me. That's when I grew into a deep depression. However that depression did not stop me from continuing to have sex with fruit. I was completely satisfied, even in my depressed state. If you cut the correct size hole into anything, it could be magical. When I ejaculated I of course would throw it away. But there was one time or two the sex was so amazing I kept it around for another go-round. Then came the day when I got over the evil women who had broke my heart. I started to hate everything about her. Which brought me to a point where my I started to doubt weather or not I should continue to enjoy having sex with fruit since she introduced me to it.
Around that time I was very confused on what I should do next I happened to see the evil wench. I happened to be on a different side of town and needed to run to the store for some fruit rollups (ironic I know) for my neice's lunch the next day. I strolled into the grocery store like nothing. I was just about to make a comment inside my head how ghetto the store was when I saw her. I had heard rumors that she had moved on and was seeing someone. But this time she was solo. I pretended I did not see her but it was too late. She spotted me. DAMN! I knew I should have gone to another checkout lane. I said hello and he had a forced short conversation. I could not help but notice THE FUCKING FRUIT SHE WAS BUYING! You fucking cunt, like I am not supposed to know what those bananas, apples, oranges were for?
I was pissed. I decided no more sex with fruit. That was the final straw. Fuck that bitch and her kinky sexual outlets.
That lasted all but a few days but then I began to get horney. NO! I couldn't do it. I toss all the fruit out my window. I WAS DONE! I had never paid for sex and wasn;t exactly sure how to go about doing that without getting caught so that was out of the question. I need stimulation! I needed something! Then as a spontanious desperate act I slammed my penis into the peanut butter. The soft sticky goo made me melt inside. What was this utopia of sexual pleasure that I had discovered? I did not know what was more pleasing. The sex with the peanut butter jar or having the dog lick it off afterwards.
So to my ex.... fuck you. I am over you and over sex with fruit. I have moved on myself. To a new avenue of pleasure. And it doesn't involve anything you ever taught me.
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