To the chick with the time machine.....
To the one I've been seeing around at all the major events in history,
Don't think I don't know what's up, chikie. I first noticed you in 1776, at the signing of the D. of I. by congress on Aug 2. You were one of Benjamin's girls. You looked at me funny, maybe cause you knew why I was there. I remember you being out of place cause you were chewing gum. Nobody had gum back then. Then saw you at the theatre when Lincoln was assasinated.......member that? You didn't even know I was there! I was watching you the whole time, you were in the balcony booth right across from mine, lookin at Abe through opera glasses, and never even noticed me. And what about the Mt Vesuvious eruption in 1631? Saw ya there too.
It seems to me we have a problem. I thought I was the only one in existence to own a time machine. I guess I was mistaken, but now i have to find out who you are and what you're doing cause You see, I trust MYSELF with the time machine not to totally screw up history, but you? No way. And you know exactly what I mean too. I saw you at the 1911 earthquake epicenter talking to that fireman, and when i got back from the trip, I found that my dog was gone, and any record or indication that I ever owned him was too, And now I have red hair, and my Mother's a prostitute. How did you manage that? You really screwed up. Now Scruffy's gone cause of you. And that's not even the worst one: Before I left to see the dedicating ceremony at the Pyramids of Giza (where I saw you selling copper knick-knacks by the way), Ross Perot was president. Imagine my surprise when I got back, and Clinton was in office, and all that work Perot did making it legal to shoot people who owe too much money to the IRS was lost. I hope your happy. Selling Heiroglyph versions of bumper sticker sayings to ancient Egyptians is just wrong. "My other CART is a Lexus?" C'mon, did you really think anyone'd understand that?
Anyway, I'm leaving now, and I've got to find out who you are. This is gettin really bad, and I'm worried that when I get back next time (From wherever I see you screwing with history), Bush will be president instead of Gore, (I know, I know, let's not get carried away.....).
By the way, you're really hot.
-Time machine man