best of craigslist > portland > * Oooh Oooh, look here! *
Originally Posted: 2004-09-06 10:41pm

* Oooh Oooh, look here! *

Why do girls say "all the best ones are married or gay". Hell there's a whole untapped pond out there of men they don't consider, and I wants me some of that!

Are you a 30 year old virgin? Im cool with that, you saved yourself for me!

Do you live in your sister's basement? Thats cool, cheap rent!

Are you jobless? Thats cool, I don't have to listen to you bitch about your boss!

Are you ugly, crippled, maimed or just plain weird? Thats great, I wont have to worry about you cheating on me with someone better looking!

Are you needy? Thats cool, Ill have someone to talk to when I can't sleep at 3:00am.

Are you just looking for a quicky? Thats cool, I can date other people!

Do you want to use me for a ride to the welfare office? That's ok, I have mornings free, and I could use a free slice of gvt cheese. Mmmmm!

Do you just need a picture of you with a girl so your Everquest friends believe you really have a girlfriend? Hell, I used to play Mario Bros., Ill help you get the power-up and win the game!

Are you going to stalk me? Thats sweet! Ive always wanted a "Number 1 Fan"!

Do you beat women? Thats great, I pay $80 a month for health insurance and never use it! It's like I'm being ripped off by MetLife!

Are you a hung stud named Luke online, but in real life you are a chubby dike name Gina? That's cool, I play for both teams!

Does your wife think you are working right now? That's cool, I have lunch-hour free, and I am too young to be tied down! Plus you can let me borrow her sexy bras!

Do you like walks on the beach, pina colodas, moonlit sky and puppies? That's awesome, I'm a liar too!

Do you take the bus, live in a church, think you are the Marquis De Sade, only own Britney Spears cd's, drink a bottle of Jack Daniels a day, smoke a carton a week, live with your mommy, have 8 cats, 3 girlfriends, 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear treeeeee.....

Thats ok, I'm not that picky.

Just shoot me an email & let me know who you are, where you are taking me, and what night this will be on! Wear clean underwear!




this is in or around Portland

post id: 41661987

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