best of craigslist > portland > To the fat jogger who spoke to me whilst my dog was taking a dump
Originally Posted: 2009-05-12 3:03pm

To the fat jogger who spoke to me whilst my dog was taking a dump

I applaud your willingness to talk to a dog-owner whose dog is taking a shit and question if they're going to pick it up as they walk away. However...

My backstory is simply this. I had to park 3 blocks away from Cedric's bookstore since the closer spot I wanted I was nearly backed into whilst the car in front of me although already passed, decided to take it. Thus making me have to turn my car in reverse in about 2 seconds or else be hit. Needless to say I took my dog and walked her to the store since I didn't want to leave her there. So no I didn't have any paper/plastic bags on me as I was walking back to my car and my dog so delightfully decided to have a bowel movement right there.

I know the poo was about the size of a dime, but props for still getting on my back about it. I told you I was going to get a bag. Your reply? "How do I know you're coming back?"
To put it simply you don't. At least have the balls to back up something like that, I was gone for literally 20 seconds to get a bag and when I got back you were gone. So why even ask that if you're not even going to stay and make sure? Perhaps you should have followed me back to Cedric's as I got a bag and hunched down and watched me pick up my dog's excrement just to make sure. It would've at least added to your stalkerish demeanor. What I really wanted to say in reply was "how do I know you're going to lose weight?" For starters, I want to beg you on behalf on everyones' eyesight to wear a shirt that isn't 5 sizes too small for you; I was planning on grabbing lunch afterwards, but you pretty much altered that thought right out of my head as I felt gag reflexes emerging as I glanced at your overweight size in undersized clothing. Not to mention you're just plain fugly looking by anyones' and I mean ANYONES' standards.

In truth we don't know each other, you don't know if I picked up my dog's crap, I don't know if you actually went jogging since I saw you walk by Cedric's, and stretch up against a wall on the other side. No actual jogging/speed-walking attempt was made. So I'm going to ask you nicely this once to not attempt to ruin a beautiful day for someone, especially as stranger unless you are planning on backing up your talk. If I ever see you again and you repeat this style of manner, I will slice the bacon off your back. Got it pudgy?

Have a glorious day!

  • Location: PSU campus
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

post id: 1167750729

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