best of craigslist > portland > Attn: Idiot in the black Civic Si
Originally Posted: 2005-09-26 5:09pm

Attn: Idiot in the black Civic Si

Hey you, driver of the dusty black '99-'00 Civic Si with the requisite fartcan exhaust and riding-on-the-bumpstops stance: What the fuck is your problem?

You know who you are. It was around 3:30 and we were on SW Front Ave / Naito Parkway... you were headed towards Barbur Blvd., and seconds before you made a complete ass of yourself I had merged into the Lake Oswego exit lane in a white Mustang GT.

I'd just like to know why you felt the need to go screaming past me at redline, sounding like a weedwhacker on crack and spewing blue smoke everywhere while you bounced all over the road, just barely staying within your own lane.

Were you trying to impress me with the 'speed' of your little sporty commuter car? Were you trying to piss me off because I choose to drive an American vehicle? Did you just want to get home in a hurry so you could smoke some rocks and jack off to the mental image of me fucking your mom in the ass while your sister cheers me on?

Your moronic act was obviously deliberate... I just don't understand why would anyone whose testicles have dropped would feel the need to try and impress/piss off the driver of another car who hasn't even acknowledged their existence.

I'm sorry I didn't participate in a "mad tyte street race" with you, but even if I wanted to waste my gas beating a puny Civic, I wouldn't endanger myself and everyone else on the road by doing it on a public road in heavy traffic. If that's what you wanted, I will gladly meet you at PIR and embarrass you in front of a crowd. I already know my car is fast, unlike your vehicle it was designed with that purpose in mind, and I don't need to go racing economy cars on the street to prove it.

You are the epitome of an idiot riceboy... not only do you drive like you have zero regard for your health or that of innocent bystanders, but you also fail miserably in modifying your already mediocre car to increase performance. That blue smoke your car pukes out when you hit the gas? Yeah, that's bad. Your engine is either seriously out of tune, or your rings are shot, but most likely both. The extent of which you have lowered your car has not only ruined the handling, but is killing your shocks, and within a few months of bouncing around on cut springs (or possibly $100 generic ebay coilovers set way too low) your 6 year old Honda will have more squeaks and rattles than my 16 year old Ford.

Grow the fuck up. Throw away that The Fast and the Furious DVD you watch three times a day. You are the reason I sold my Integra and 240SX and bought a domestic car... I feel sorry for the few import enthusiasts left out there that actually know their shit and drive like reasonably sane adults, because these days everyone lumps them in the same group with asshat prepubescent boys like yourself.

I know mommy doesn't let you out past 10 on school nights, but please, if you're going to drive like that on public roads, at least have the balls to sneak out and do it at 3 am. That way, when you pilot your little tin can into a brick wall at it's top speed of 115 mph, you will be the only casualty.

post id: 100173905

email to friend

best of [?]