Hater's Guide: 2005
Firstly we shall cover the tenets of hating:
- Hating works most effectively when it is concentrated. Did a black person ever bump into you in the subway? Obviously the solution is to spew unmitigated venom at all black people. It would be senseless and counterproductive to, say, be bumped into by a black person and then go off on a rant about the sexual (in)abilities of Asians.
- Hating requires an in-group, out-group dichotomy. Though some unconventional haters will hate on what would be their in-group, a traditional hater must always direct his anger towards members of society that fit into his out-group.
- Any sense of vocabulary, grammar, scientific reasoning, or any other such malarkey must be discarded prior to constructing your hating rant. If you incorporate these volatile elements into your hateration you can easily reach a critical mass of conflicting components. This will lead to your rant exploding all up in your shit.
As we covered earlier, hating requires an in-group/out-group structure to work most effectively. Below is a listing of potential groups to hate on, and the most effective known arsenal that can be directed at each group.
Asians – Asians, due to their sneaky, underhanded nature, have preemptively entrenched themselves against many of the more common forms of Hateration. By cultivating a ‘model minority’ image, Asians have precluded themselves from being hated on for being stupid, unproductive members of society (though this form of hating can still be applied to other groups). The important thing to remember about Asians is that their eyes are not like yours. Their eyes, as a matter of fact, are slanting every which-way! Furthermore, Asians are known to eat all manner of strange beasts, most importantly for our purposes dogs and cats. Pay no mind to the fact that food you commonly consume is considered to be sacred or disgusting in other cultures – those people are all a bunch of goddamn animals anyway! What matters here is that these people are eating animals that, while made of meat and completely edible, are not commonly consumed in our society.
To most effectively hate on Asians one must divide the Asian group by gender. Gender-specific Asian Hateration has been known to be some of the most effective Hateration in existence – as evidenced by the sheer number of posts on this forum dealing with the matter. First we will deal with males – Asian males are effeminate. I don’t care if he played football and weighs 225 pounds. He is an effeminate no-balls kinda guy. Asian males do not have sex, and in fact the entire Asian population only continues to exist due to the amazing-yet-ancient technologies that the Japanese have invented and disseminated to the Asian population. Without these technologies the Asians would quickly die off, as no Asian male is actually capable of sex. Further along this line of thought, one must continually remember to assault the Asian penis size. Asians, universally, have miniscule penises. It doesn’t matter that Asians raised in the U.S. are taller than Asians raised in Southeast Asia – diet controlling physical factors is complete bullshit! When it comes to Asian penises there is no variance – the universal size is ‘small’.
As for Asian females, the picture is equally bleak. Not only are these specimens so incredibly submissive that many of them are unable to speak in anything other than a soft whisper, they also have the propensity to engage in coitus with any willing male of the white race. Just yesterday I saw five Asian females working their mouths over the phallus of some suited white man on the subway. This type of activity is never motivated by attraction, love, or desire for affection but rather solely by a deeply seated desire to be accepted by the white race. If you see an Asian female with a white male, she is a sellout who is having sex with this man with some desperate hope that when his semen shoots onto her face that it will chemically react with her skin, thus turning her into a roundeye. It is inconsequential how they met, whether they are in love, or if it is really any of your damn business – what counts is that they are together, and you are a hater. By appearing in public with her white boyfriend, the Asian female is only exposing the truth: her burning desire to become a yang gwai tzu. As a bonus, if the white male is in your out-group you can rest assured that he is only dating an Asian female because he has a small penis and has a fetish.
Arabs – Arabs are, by and large, a group of psychotic murderers. They may seem innocent enough, with their swarthy appeal, but it is well known that they are genetically predisposed towards killing the infidel. This point was driven home most impressively on September 11th, when every Arab in the entire world attacked and destroyed the World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania. While some forms of Hateration can be applied to Arabs – they are brown, after all, and therefore smelly – the most appropriate in this day and age is to imply that they are attempting to kill you. This can work doubly well, in fact, as implying this will blow their cover – and we all know that Arab terror cells cannot operate without appropriate cover. So, in fact, this type of Hateration can actually save one’s life from what could otherwise quite possibly be death at the hands of an otherwise professional co-worker. Arabs, like Asians, are very crafty. An Arab you are hating on may try some commonly used defenses: “Actually I’m very secular, I respect other’s rights to believe or not believe as they see fit.” Or “Dude, I’m an atheist.” Or “Hey man, I grew up in this country just like you.” Pure unmitigated bullshit. It is well known that every Arab has an often-unseen but seething hatred for Freedom and America. Scientists have even recently discovered a new particle, the “anti-freedon” which is produced in the Arab pituitary gland. The existence of these particles proves that even the most secular, Americanized Arab is unavoidably prone to hating freedom and apple pie.
Blacks – One of the most prevalent races in America, the blacks were, pre-9/11, the scourge of American society. Blacks are, at heart, criminals, and they will stop at nothing to pursue their desire to steal and rape. In fact, any time a black man has sex, it is, by definition, rape. Signed legal forms of consent are nothing – a black man is incapable of non-rape sex. While some blacks appear to have ‘made it’ in our society, this is a sham. Blacks can find outlets in sports or entertainment, but those are the only realms in which they succeed. If you see a black guy in a suit walking out of a law firm, briefcase in hand, and then getting into his BMW 7-series obviously what you have just witnessed is a criminal stepping out after getting some legal advice on how to deal with his 15 charges of rape and murder, before stealing someone’s BMW. He probably stole the suit too.
Blacks are incapable of speaking the English language – only a bastardized version of it known as ‘ebonics’. Ebonics is a bankrupt series of barks and grunts, and it takes little brainpower to determine the hundreds of slang expressions used in ebonics, as any 40-year-old white man can easily spout out a long conversation in street-slang with ease. Furthermore, blacks are incapable of success in America, despite having every opportunity and advantage that every other race has. When you see a black person who has not succeeded in America, scoff at him and remember comfortably that if your race were brutally oppressed and enslaved for centuries and your very culture destroyed in the process, it would only take your race about 15 minutes to recover because of the permeating presence of the American Dream.
Gays – In recent years things had been looking better for the gays. Fortunately we have a large contingent of the population, lead by a certain individual, working hard to revive he type of Hateration towards gays that seemed so comfortably common only a decade ago. Gay males have attempted to cast off their image as effeminate nancy-boys by doing such things as taking up dangerous jobs where your primary responsibility is to kill human beings, or by lifting weights until they become as big as (or just outright become) an NFL linebacker. This is all a bunch of horseshit, as everybody knows simply that all gay males are prancing sissies. Conversely, gay females are ball-crushing bull dykes who long ago shat out any semblance of femininity they had onto the chest of some male who they had castrated. Gays, across genders, have diseases. Most commonly gays have AIDS – I believe roughly 95% of them do at this point, and they are only getting it faster, regardless of what any recent statistical analysis has to say about the explosion of AIDS in other groups. Gays are also promiscuous – did you know that gays actually have five sets of genitalia in order to facilitate having sex with between five and eight partners at a time! This also aids (ha ha!) gays in their unending desire to spread disease and plague upon all of humanity. Also they dress well, but only fags care about that.
Whites – Many people foolishly believe that because whites are the dominant race in our society that they are somehow immune to hateration. Nonsense, my friend! There are plenty of great reasons to hate the White Devil. Did you know that white people raped your ancestors? No? Well, it’s probably true. After all, it is well known by historians that the invention of white people ushered in a new era of debauched death and destruction in our world. Previously humans had lived in peace, trading and laughing with each other while they skipped across their fields. This all changed once the whites showed up. Borne out of the maggot-encrusted birth canal of Satan’s anus the white race has plagued humanity for centuries. Originally their primary goal was to kill each other, which would have been a great idea, but eventually that waned into something more of a “let’s kill everyone else” type deal. They have put forth every effort to oppress, dehumanize, and destroy anything in their path. So, if you see a white person on the street, why not express the anger handed down to you by your ancestors to them! Are you black? There are plenty of 200-plus year old former-slave-owning white people around who (remarkably) look like they are only 20-40! Were your ancestors from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, or Australia? Guess what – the white people you see walking around today personally killed every last one of them! Let them know that you’re on to their racist assess. Let them know that, in the end, no matter what they do, they can’t dance.
(Subcategorisations – a quick guide to specific white person hating)
French – Alcoholics. French people are weak, despite having conquered Europe. They enjoy cheese and wine, the food and drink of the Modern Pussy. They also, despite every advantage of modern hygiene, are filthy. Their language is for dorks too.
Germans – Germans, while not weak like the French, are murderous Nazi maniacs. In infancy they have difficulty learning to crawl and walk, but no trouble at all learning to lockstep. Germans often try to stuff entire ethnic groups into ovens and kill them all off. They also like to shit on each other in their pornography. Also they are alcoholics.
British – Alcoholics. These people are some of the most successful oppressors in the history of man, mostly due to their lack of dental hygiene. They are humorless and stiff, and are known to often be date rapists. They cannot cook.
Irish – Glug glug glug. The saying goes “God invented beer so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world.” It worked remarkably well. (note: these people also smell, and you cannot understand what they are saying.)
Jews – How could anyone hate on a group of moneylending cheapskates with an uber-victim mentality? Easy! Just remember next time ‘Yom Kippur’ comes up that this holiday, in Hebrew, means “Time to drink some Palestinian blood, y’all!”
Hispanics – The Hispanic people represent a major paradox in our world, and in fact, it only appears that way. Firstly we should get out of the way that Hispanics are womanizers and criminals. They often get into knife fights whilst catcalling women on the street. They are also notoriously unemployed. Frequently they will steal from department stores – but a far more important theft than that is the theft of our jobs. While it may seem contradictory that Hispanics could both take our jobs while also being unemployed (and thus having time to do all the various sundry activities they engage in) a simple look at particle physics can provide an insightful explanation. Hispanics are a quantum race. This grants them many properties, most importantly of which is that their exact location and velocity can never both be known at the same time. This is known as “El Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle Del