best of craigslist > new york > The Morning After
Originally Posted: 2004-11-03 10:14am

The Morning After

The Country is bound for one LONG walk of shame. America, the once beautiful, is slowly making its way back to its apartment, still wearing last night's clothes. The country has sex hair, and can taste its own breath.
Yes, there's nothing like an election to make you feel cheap and used, and you just KNOW that W, much like the deranged Frat boy that he is, is high-fiving his buddies, retelling the story of how he fucked the country so hard, and damned if he doesn't think that he could probably goad her into giving it up again, only next time he'll get her so drunk and confused he'll be able to take her in the ass.
We, the few, the proud, the 48%, sit here scratching our heads, considering our country for the naive sorority sister that it is. America, you knew better. You've seen him do this before. You've been this girl before. And you know he's fucking Iraq right now. Doesn't that make you feel cheap? To Give yourself up this smug idiot when you know the whole time that he's sticking his dick where it OBVIOUSLY doesn't belong. Do you really think what you did was safe? I mean, we know outright that you didn't protect yourself last night.
But We have to bear in mind that last night was not a one shot job. He didn't slip the country a good old fashioned dose of ruhypnol and let her fall unknowingly into his arms. This time around there was no rape, no theft. No my friends, we've been watching this for months. Convincing her that he had her best interests in mind. Convincing her naive fly-over states that they might be the next ones to be targeted by terrorists (yeah Jim-Bob, because its your fucking Walmart that Osama Bin Laden wants to blow sky high, because he "Hates Your Freedom". Right. And on that "Hating Democracy and Freedom" point, why have none of the neutral nations been attacked? just asking. but back to extended metaphor).
You should have listened to New York America. We were the ones hit hardest by 9/11. And we could have told you, in fact DID tell you all night last night as you were eyeing him across the room not to do it, that he was a prick and a liar, and would most likely just steal from your purse to buy some coke, fuck you and leave you worse off than you already were. But like a woman with an abusive husband, America fell for the lies, fell for the promises that things are going to get better, that he only abuses us because he really loves us (and God forbid, that Jesus told him to do it). America fell for the bullshit.
And now, she's on the way home. Sore, tired, and with considerably less self respect than she had yesterday.
I don't know what the future holds. but after a night like last night spent with a dirty prick like Him, you have no idea what manner of political genital warts you may have contracted, no idea what might be lying latent just waiting to pop up and threaten your safety, your way of life, your well being. I mean, there are plenty of other countries out there to start a war with! and I'm willing to bet that none of those we choose will be home to Osama Bin Laden (who was that again? oh yeah, the guy we were supposed to find 4 years ago. But again, I digress.)
So, my fellow Democrats, we weep. Let's be big about it though. It's over. Lets get back to watching him destroy the country, the economy, our status in the world, our Constitutional rights. Because in 4 years (Provided we're all still here) we can look all of our fellow Americans who just HAPPENED to have voted for him (because, like our slutty friends who take one night stands with abusive men, we can always forgive our fellow americans) in the face and say "Hey, I Told You So". Cold comfort, but the asshole in me sees it as the best I can hope for right now.
And Shame on You America. You let yourself be used. Get your ass home, take a shower, and put on the hap-hap-happiest fucking face you can. Cause Tomorrow you have to face the world, and they ALL know what you did last night.


this is in or around Manhattan

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