A) Married (in which case I will only pay for it, it will be chosen for me).
B) Stinking rich (in which case my personal assistant or trophy wife of the week will choose it for me, again promoting me to the role of Walking Checkbook).
My roommate scored us another couch; for free, of course. This means that The Red Couch has got to go. I will admit, I am not sad to see it go.
First off, it's red. I want my furniture in black (though Mahogany is often acceptable). It's also that itchy wool/acrylic material - I can't stand that crap. It's also pretty heavy and I'm not exactly sure that it's going to get OUT of the apartment without taking a sledgehammer to it first. There's also some weird dust leaking out of the cushions. I think it's the foam disintegrating, but it could be asbestos or human skin.
But hey, at least it doesn't have flowers on it. My last couch had flowers on it and no matter how loud you play your Sabbath records, it's hard to take yourself seriously with a floral-print couch that looks like it belongs in John Waters' retirement-condo in Boca Raton.
Sold yet? If you too believe in the Ethos of Free Couchdom, you should be wicked psyched.
So, if you want this goddamned thing and can come pick it up tomorrow (Wednesday, September 29) before 6pm, it's yours. In fact, I'll even help you carry it down to the street (which should be a pleasure, seeing as how there's bicycles chained up to the banister). At least it's only two flights and DOWN is wicked easier than UP.
If no one replies, I'm dragging the nightmare out to the curb sometime after 10pm when I get out of band practice. If you want it, it'll be there - corner of South Oxford and Lafayette in Fort Green.
Honestly, this thing would be great for a rehearsal studio, underfurnished industrial-space, garage, porch, crack-den, Red Cross shelter... you know, some place where someone could bleed on it, but you wouldn't care too much.
cheers, kids. happy lounging.
this is in or around Fort Green - SoOxford/Laff