best of craigslist > los angeles > it's over, I'm leaving you...
Originally Posted: 2006-03-20 8:08pm

it's over, I'm leaving you...

Dear Los Angeles,

As you know, well I've been unhappy with you for quite some time. The truth of the matter is you don't love me and I never loved you. In fairness, I tried. Really I did and I found some good things in you. I mean, I've made some really wonderful friends through you. So lovely in fact just recently it occurred to me that I may be one of the luckiest people in the world. And jeez, I can't say enough about you showing me the Museum of Jurassic Technology - I suspect the most amazing place you have to offer. I must also say, living downtown has been amazing, the parks are nice, and the mountains are gorgeous. I've had some fine sushi and mexican food while I've been here as well.

However, the down side is insurmountable. You are a bit on the shallow side, ridiculously scene driven, and why must you insist on driving everywhere??? It's maddening! I mean, there have been so many things that were wrong that truth be told, that this relationship is not salvageable. You really are the most self centered city I've ever been with as well as the most shallow, flaky, and well...plastic. Your obsessions with Scientology and Marilyn Monroe really creeped me out too, you should dial that down a notch. That fauxhemian fashion sense of yours always grated under my skin a bit as well, it's now available at Target so why don't you just give it up already? In my last relationship with New York, I mean you could see the warts with no effort made to even hide them but at least you know what you got, at least it was real. My friends warned me about you before I decided to give 'us' a shot, you have quite a reputation you know. I should have listened. I guess I must have thought it sounded like too much a cliche to really be true or maybe I thought I could change you in my own meager way. I've been proved wrong.

However, let's not dwell on the negatives, the truth is I'm leaving you to go back to New York. Yes, New York. Yes yes, I know you hate New York - New York hates you too. Lucky for the both of you that you're 3000 miles apart. You see, I've always loved New York, even when I was with you. Your jealousy of New York really didn't help matters, just be who you are, accept yourself for who you are. Stop trying to be something you're not and can never be. The truth is, New York is my true love. Granted it's not perfect, but scrape away the dirt and curtness and you find something real and wonderful and oddly free. New York thinks it's ok for me not to go out until 11pm, and New York wont make me drive after a few cocktails. In fact, New York wont make me drive anywhere. I know it seems silly but New York has so much more to offer than you do. I'm sorry but it's true. New York has good taste in art, and every band likes playing New York, and jesus christ, New York has much better taste in fashion. New York is also happy to feed me at 4 in the morning, it was like it took an act of congress for you to muster up a decent meal for me at that hour. On top of that, New York accepts me the way I am. I don't need a fancy car or fake tits to be with New York. And not to stick the knife any deeper in, but the sex was better as well. New York can be a bit dirty I suppose and there's nothing wrong with that.

And listen, it's not like we'll never see each other again. Hopefully we can still be friends. I'm sure after we've spent quite some time apart I might be willing to see you again but don't get any wild ideas like it may be permanent, at most maybe we have a weekend trip.

So, Los Angeles, I'm leaving you and moving out at the end of May. It's over. You can't change my mind and I'm not moving back. I'm sorry. I'm sure you wont shed a tear anyway.

Best of luck to you,


  • this is in or around los angeles
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