best of craigslist > baltimore > Dear Guy Masterbating In Enoch Pratt
Originally Posted: 2006-12-08 11:16am

Dear Guy Masterbating In Enoch Pratt

I so know where you're coming from. All those encyclopedias get me wet too. Sometimes its all I can do to keep from rubbing my flaps right then and there. I do have a few words of advice though. Firstly, I would consider moving to the bathroom. You're less likely to be interrupted by nerdly Graduate Students researching Ancient Mesopotamia. If you have to continue doing it standing up in a library aisle. At least prep yourself for quick put-away-ability. You know, wear elastic waistbands. A zipper is just one more step. Just pull down the band and get at it. Also, use as little lube as possible. It makes a slip slappery gooshy sound that gives away your position. Stealth is key. You were right to choose a rarely used section though. Good planning. Also, keep your head on a swivel. Situational awareness is paramount. It's as if you are a soldier in enemy territory. You DO NOT want to be discovered in "uniform", or, "masterbating". Be aware of footsteps and door/floor creaks. Look up to see if there are any balconies or vantage points from which the enemy might interrupt your self-coitus. I suggest sitting down though, if you must be in public. Consider a bulky coat that might conceal frantic arm movements. Maybe a parka. If you want to get really convincing, consider attaching a glove to the end of a sleeve. This way, you can pull you arm out of the sleeve and rub your winky and it will appear as though your arm is still in the sleeve. Now, you should also consider what to do with the jizz. Although maybe not. I would posit that if you're of the character and dispostion to masterbate in a library aisle to begin with, jizzing right inside your pants and walking around like that is of no concern. Personally, I would just catch in in the palm and flick it off into the christian books section. I should note that I would recommend NOT doing it in the first place, but I think jerkign off wherever is the least of your problems. Anyway, I hope you washed your hands before you logged onto the public computers there and read this advice. Be well!

Baltimore...See it shine!

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