And now, for a limited time offer, I'm yours for only
$50! Email me. I'm waiting for you. RRRRRRRWWWWOWRRRRRRRR!
Wow! I knew I was good lookin', but thanks to all who responded for that
confidence booster! There are just too many to choose from at random, and
besides that's no fun, so I thought I'd make it a little more interesting.
"Win Debbie's Heart Poetry Contest"
If you are still interested in winning my wheels, please write your best
poem on my two favorite topics: Time Travel and Marshmallows. The writer
that impresses me the most shall have first dibs, and if he/she decides to
pass, then on to the next best.
Also, to answer questions, I have 3 speeds, and my pedals do the braking. A
lady won't tell what year she was born (besides, I don't know, my mama
wouldn't tell me. I think it was in the 60's). I am in pretty good shape
with minor issues like a small tear in the seat (whoops! Dang those
marshmallows) and some dings here and there. Yes, too, I am probably worth
more than I'm asking, and thanks for the heads up, I appreciate it. But now
with so many suitors hot on my tail I'd be a tease to raise it at this
OK-- here's the small type: Keep it clean, y'all. I am a lady. Poetry
contest submissions should be received by Saturday, August 13th, 2005 at
12:00 noon. Write in whatever style and to whatever length you feel suits
your vision. Let me know if I can share your poem with the Craigslist
On your mark. Get set. Go!
Announcing the Winner!
Here is the winning poem in all its glory:
My Heart Belongs to Debbie
Way back last spring one sunny day when all the birds were singing
I heard a small and distant sound, a tiny bell a'ringing
I stepped out from my little house and listened on the wind
And sure enough I heard that bell calling out again
And so I walked a'followin' that sound that'd caught my ear
And found her there at the end of the street all blue with three small gears
Her name was Debbie and her silver rims filled my heart with glee
Just standing there with her pretty curves she seemed to wink at me
And so I did what anyone would do in such a pickle
I pulled out my pocket book and offer up each nickel
I bought that lovely lady blue and when I climbed on board
We cruised along so pleasantly, oh lordly how we soared
Faster and faster on we flew as the evening sunset glowed
And suddenly I noticed that her tires had left the road
We flew up through the amber air the birds and trees below
Her bell a'ringing on the breeze her silver chrome a'glow
And when we touched back to the earth with darkness all around
My old familiar neighborhood was nowhere to be found
We started up the bumpy trail toward a distant glow
Just me and my brave gal Deb so steady and so slow
And when we reached the source of light, oh joy of joys beheld us
A town of white all mushy puffed and sticky sweet compelled us
Each car, each tree, each church bell tower a fluffy, puffy pillow
This town was made entirely of gooey white marshmallow!
We wheeled into the soft town square and pulled up by a river
Of fluffy white cream flowing by - the sight gave me a shiver
And there we met a smiling chap who said his name was Treavor
I said "so tell me Trev, old boy, to what do we owe the pleasure?"
"Can you please explain to me, and to my sweet girl Deb here,
Just how we could have stumbled on this lovely gooey town dear?"
With one look at my Debbie girl he said "The answer's plain as day!"
"For certainly no ordinary bike could have flown all this way…"
"Your Debbie's fast as lightning miss, she's strong and wild as fire,
"Your Debbie is a special gal, a rare and bold time flyer!"
He said he could tell from my clothes that I was from a long lost day
And that me and my Debbie girl were in the future far away
I looked around and blinked my eyes so awed I found it hard to stand
The future was full of fluffy puff a pillowy billowy wonderland
What year is this? I had to know, how soon will the earth be lovely and white?
"Why does it matter?" dear Treavor said "just fly back any time you like!"
So now I spend each day and night a'riding with my bold blue honey
I have no need for rushin' round or trying to make big bags of money
For I know what the future holds, it's white and soft and oh so mellow
Can't wait to ride my shiny gal into that land of soft white pillow!
Now you may love your pick-up truck or think your yacht is clever
Perhaps you fancy motorbikes through fair or stormy weather
And some would choose to fly a jet from here to old Entebbe
But my heart belongs to my Baby Blue, to my one, my only, Debbie!
I don't like time travel.
I think too many people think about it.
Now is where I choose.
The moment of now is where I can't loose.
In the future I'd love to see you.
Looking back on our past.
ages of me and you in the grass.
Millenium have gone by without you in my arms.
Will another day go by without any of your charms?
I think it will but that's okay.
For our time travel we will not pay!
If I'm still interested in winning your wheels you ask? I'm only interesting in winning your heart! Ever since the day I heard of you and the way you fired up without a spark.
I haven't forgotten you…and here in LA, I've thought about you more as I try to park. I'm over the LA traffic, the Jags, the Beemers. But with you, traffic will be easy, even if that makes me a dreamer.
I know you love the thought of time travel which is fine, s,o bare with me as I take you back to when I was 9. A poem this may be but it's nonfiction for me.
The 1st time I saw you was with my sister's mean friend Janie… she had pigtails and a back pack and thought she was a hottie. I watched her peddle you through the streets and up and down my yard. I even remember running after you when you were nearly hit by a car!
I know you saw my love as I grimaced when she threw you down. I wanted to have you but you were Junior high bound.
The days went by as saw you laying on my drive
..but we could never be together or my sister I would have been skinned alive.
I dreamt of steeling you and peddling off into the night but you never seemed to leave the girls' sight..
To this day Janie tells me stories of my crush and my love. However she'll never know the truth. That which I loved she was riding above!
I only hope that this time that has passed, will not stop me from riding you, oh so fast.
I had dreams as a child of jumping you off the pier but now as an adult, please know I wouldn't dare!
I promise you happiness and security from the cold and rain. Just come back to me so we can share that spark, again.
Much like a Marshmallow hot off the fire…Enjoying you too early could possibly burn. I've waited patiently, now it's my turn.
First time I saw Deb
I met her on the web
It felt just like time travel
Things just started to unravel
I heard you like marshmellow
And I wish I was your fellow
If we ever meet
It will be like destiny
My Dearest Debbie,
I know we have never met, or that we may never will. I am only writing this sweet sorrowful letter because I believe our hearts are one in the same. True, your beauty had caught my eye. Oh How I have been searching for you. But alas your love for marshmallows (or at least your love and endurance for people who ride you and love marshmallows) is what truly took my breath away. I only wish I could turn the clock back and visit this website sooner so that I would not have missed the deadline to write you a poem about our mutual passions. Oh But your beauty is so intoxicating; I can feel the words tingling at my fingertips dieing to escape. Yes, yes… I will write you a poem. It is how I will end our brief but memorable affair.
Debbie oh Debbie
My sweet marshmallows
It sounds like we both married
To turn back the clock
And travel through time
I might have done anything
To make you mine
First off, this is not a poem about time travel or marshmellos. This isn't even a poem,
so I fear I might disappoint you right out of the gate. Also, I'm female, and while your ad didn't implicately state what gender you were seeking a relationship with, it's obvious you're a girlie girl, and I can only hope you will entertain the notion of partnering up with someone as gigglely and gleeful as you must surely be, when stroked properly.
I know you must be entertaining countless offers by now -- that other, flashier, riders with better pedigrees and filigree words will jump to perform for you, hoping to win your heart, but I know that if I try to win your favor pretending to be something I'm not, neither of us really win. What I can offer you is honesty, my longing laid bare -- and If you like what you see there, maybe there is a future for us.
When I read about what you had been through, a lump formed in my throat. I would never leave you, Debbie, no matter how wide your seat. When I saw you, my heart skipped a beat. You were a dead ringer for my very first love -- right down to the
blue hue of your shapely frame. My happiest childhood memories center around her. Long afternoons spent winding through Indiana backroads, between green fields of ripened corn, and flying down impossibly high hills thinking nothing of their steepness as my hair took flight in the breeze and my mind emptied of all thought -- my first true glimpse of freedom. Do I want to recapture, reclaim and restore a bit of my childhood with you? YES, I do. But only the happiest part.
Yes, it's true, she was older than me, but she taught me things that no new bike ever could. How to surrender to adventure. How to escape. How to fly. The beauty of craftsmanship. That when things are built properly and well cared for, they last forever...and become living art. It was never the age that came between us, it was circumstance. Fifteen years later, and in my happiest dreams, I still fly.
I don't want to give you the impression that when I look at you I am only seeing her.
You are clearly your own unique creature, with a personality and style all your own.
In time we would build a whole new history together, sharing bonding moments over blazed trails. I don't want to mislead you into thinking I'm perfect either. I don't write poetry and can't woo you with fancy words, though it's obvious you are flush with all the newfound and well-deserved attention. And there will be moments when I am too tired or sore to go out, pausing to gaze at your stationary beauty instead. Even now I sit here with a broken back end. But I am on the mend, and it won't keep me from taking you out and showing you the world with new eyes.
Well, there you have it, Debbie. I hope you can see past my flaws into my most sincere heart, that is longing for you. But if you decide to choose someone else, I will understand -- though seeing you in the arms of another will be difficult to bear.
You have to do what's right for you. Just forgive me if I catch a glimpse of you out with them someday, wince and turn away.
Good luck as you begin your new venture into the great and grand unknown, Debbie.
Thanks to all who wrote in!
I'm going to assume that all the "Is it still available? Call me ###-####..." messages weren't poems and "NO ISSUES! =
firstname.lastname@example.org" wasn't some sort of put-down.
I've found a lovely person to live with now, and had a blast getting love letters (who wouldn't!). Kisses to you all, and I'll be seeing you!