Originally Posted: 2006-02-04 2:07pm

favorite this post Why it's so hard to find a decent guy in DC

How many new men do you think you’ll meet in a given year and be in a situation where you would actually have a chance to get to know each other? For a woman that goes out regularly and has a really active life -- she may meet 200. The average is probably closer to 100. Let’s go with 150 for the sake of argument.

Now, how many of those men are decent enough (i.e. faithful, honest, not alcoholics) and have enough in common with you (i.e. similar interests, similar long-term goals, and common outlook and interests) to form a long-term meaningful relationship with? It’s probably close to 5 percent, or about 8 men every year that you have any hope of being happy with.

Now here’s the typical DC woman’s absolute unwavering and rigid requirements: must be over 5’10”, makes $50,000 a year, works out daily, and drives a jaguar. That describes about one-half of one percent of the population. So, the odds that any of those eight men you meet this year will measure up to your rigid requirements are pretty slim.

In fact, you’ll meet one guy in 25 years that is decent, has enough in common with you, and is tall and wealthy. Unfortunately, this guy is pretty damn popular, and unless you look like Halle Barry, you’re not the one he’s going to pick.

Now, you’ll meet one of those eight potential life-long lovers this week. Unfortunately, he’s 5’9”, and you just couldn’t stand to be seen dating a guy who’s an inch or two shorter than you. I mean, after all, what would your friends think? So, you pass him up. Two weeks later, he meets a girl who is much more mature than the average DC woman, and she doesn’t care about his height. Likewise, he’s more mature than the average DC male and doesn’t care that she has a few extra pounds. They get married next spring.

Next spring, you’ll be dating a wealthy, 6’3” lawyer. Unfortunately, he’s got a bad temper, and one night he’s going to have one two many. You guys will get in an argument, and he’ll end up slapping you hard across the face. You’ll be wise enough not to stick with this guy, and you’ll move on to the next tall, wealthy guy. Unfortunately, this one sleeps around, and by the time you find out he’s cheating on you, you have herpes.

And since you can’t accept any imperfections in your lovers, you’ll never notice them in yourself. The fact you’re insecure, fake, and petty will escape you, and you’ll never change. You are, therefore, doomed to a life of misery.

The good news is that all your friends will always be impressed by how handsome the guys you date are. That is until you get so old that the handsome ones no longer want you. But hey, maybe plastic surgery will extend your dating years until you’re 50. Then, of course, you’ll just be lonely. But you’ll have those herpes to keep you company and possibly a cat or two. And having finished this article, you’ll know that the reason you can’t find a decent man has nothing to do with the dating pool, and everything to do with you.

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