...from a woman who knows.
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1. It's D-I-S-C-R-E-E-T. We already know you're 'discrete'. If you're not, it will be challenging to have sex with you.
2. If you insist on sending dick pics, at least fluff yourself a little bit before taking camera in hand. The limp penis is one of the saddest things in the world. (Consider the background too -- if you take the picture in a standing position, your gross feet will be visible, and I will be driven to close your email and never open it again.) Aim to be sexy, not the opposite of sexy. I know it's hard to keep that straight.
3. Sentences typically end with a period, exclamation mark, or question mark, not "lol" and a line break.
4. In our first conversations, don't talk about your baby mama, your sister, your parents, or who'll take care of your kid while we meet. I can feel my vulva retracting into my body and the gates swinging shut as you speak of it.
5. The more you say, the more opportunities you are giving yourself to sound like a douchebag. Choose your words, be intriguing, and be willing to provide more info if I ask for it.
6. Don't just send me a command like "add me on msn" without so much as a word about who the hell you are. I'm just not that curious.
7. Don't be a dick about sending a picture. You're applying for a job here. Don't order me to send a picture without being willing to send me one first.
8. Don't send me pictures of past partners, or even worse, you fucking another partner. How can I trust you if you're sending another person's pictures to strangers on the Internet? Do you have no discretion at all?
9. Don't just copy and paste your own ad into an email to me. I wouldn't have posted my ad if I had been interested in yours.
10. Remember that as a woman in Casual Encounters, I am going to get dozens and dozens of responses. If I don't answer your email, it means I'm not interested, or I just don't have time to get together with all the men who are willing. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, it's just overwhelming to have so many replies, and on top of that to have guys email me three or four times wanting to know why I haven't gotten back to them.
11. Pleading isn't so hot.