Not to put too fine a point on it, but I want to get married. I'm a student with a couple of part time jobs, and I'm just trying to get my education finished quickly so I can go back to working full time. I've got a great girlfriend, and I think that it's finally time to bump it up a notch.
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What I'm looking to do is to help some poor dude who spent way too much money on a diamond ring, and then watched his life fall apart into a crushing pit of despair. Maybe you finally got rid of your evil ex-wife and you're looking to booze it up with some floozies. You’ll need a bunch of great booze to begin your new life of intoxication, and this is what I can provide to you.
We all know that the jewelry business is pretty rough on the little guy; the cartel pricing structure makes anything of a respectable size very expensive. Try to sell that $5,000 ring back to a jeweler and you'll be extremely lucky to be offered $1,000 on a good day. Let's help each other out.
I have a bunch of great booze to trade, and I need a diamond ring. Ideally, I'd like a solitaire set in either white gold or platinum. Loose stones are perfectly acceptable, too.
Bruichladdich 15 year First Edition single malt
Bruichladdich 20 year Second Edition single malt
Woodford Reserve Four Grain #863 of 9360
1.5 Liter bottle of Seagram’s Grapefruit gin
El Mayor Reposado tequila
Four bottles of St George’s single malt (One Lot 3, two Lot 5, and one Lot 6)
Four bottles of Dubonnet Green Crème de Menthe (No idea why I have these)
McClellan’s Islay single malt
2004 Babcock Cabernet
Cazadores Reposado tequila
Mount Gay Vanilla rum
Mount Gay Mango rum
Also, I have “The Minibar.” I built this with the plan of putting it in a guest bedroom, but minibottles are way too expensive to replace after my freeloading friends drank ‘em up. I wound up using it as a cool display for my living room, and it looks great. 54 airline bottles of all types, and there’s some really fancy stuff here that you don’t normally see in airliners.
Balvenie 10, Balvenie 12, Balvenie 15, Glenfiddich 18, Glenfiddich 15, Glenfiddich 12, Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey, Jameson’s, Wild Turkey, Booker’s, Baker’s, Knob Creek, Basil Hayden, Martel XO, Frangelico, Jagermeister, Milagro Silver, Jim Beam, Seagram’s 7, Seagram’s VO, Crown Royal, Disarrono, Godiva Dark, Starbuck’s Crème, Starbucks Café, Bailey’s Irish Cream, Merlyn’s Irish Cream, Myer’s Dark Rum, Captain Morgan, Bacardi Superior, Pearl Persephone, Chopin, Grey Goose Orange, Grey Goose Lemon, Grey Goose, Bacardi Limon, Bacardi Green Apple, Bacardi O, Bombay Sapphire, Tanqueray Ten, Vox, Vox Raspberry, Vox Green Apple, Absolut Mandrin, Absolute Vanilla, Absolut Apeach, Absolut Raspberry, Smirnoff Citrus, Smirnoff Orange, Smirnoff Raspberry, Smirnoff, Jose Cuervo, Everclear, Captain Morgan Tattoo.