seriously cute and funny girl on the lookout for someone to spill coffee in her lap and then painfully dab at my crotch with wads of napkin before realizing that you're giving me an inadvertent handjob and dying of shame. all your sweaters have holes at the elbows and there is a book somewhere on your person at all times. you have excellent and perhaps somewhat exotic hygiene, though your personal appearance has sometimes been described as "thrown from a train". you will be asked to perform bizarre erotic duties such as "cunnilingus" and "snuggling", sometimes in front of (or right next to) my boyfriend. i promise to be nice as long as you promise to not accidentally set anything on fire.