Let's be honest here. I am too short, sarcastic to a fault and 100% addicted to the internet. I will likely ignore you for my "virtual life" 90% of the time and demand 100% of your attention the rest. However I am adorable in that 12 year old sort of way (pedophile beware, I bite) and usually hilarious when not staring vacantly at the monitor. I am not looking for sex, and probably not even a relationship, but I like getting email sending me 500K jpg attachments of anonymous dick. [Ed: I do not actually like that] I just got out of an emotionally intense LTR so I am in my "rebound like mad" phase which translates to not actually put out and making fun of any persons thinking otherwise. I am a huge tease.
HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN :D
I am looking for cute hot single boys between the ages of 23-27 to hang out with. You must be my definition of hot which means definitely geeky, preferably with glasses. Even though I am not looking for a relationship, or even sex, you have to be funny, smart, witty, sarcastic, and awesome anyway, because really, you never know, and besides, I don't want to be bored. If you shop exclusively at the GAP, Structure, or Banana Republic, I am probably not your type. If you are vegan, sXe, or have ever had the words "mod" or "emo" used to describe you, don't even talk to me. I hate fanatical belief pushers and I prefer people with musical taste.
I hate being alone on Valentine's day and am looking for someone funny to hang out with and possible make out with so that I don't end up working my way through the better part of the local dive bar's alcohol supply. If you are just looking for sex or desperate for a girlfriend, don't even waste either of our time. I mean, I am desperately looking for a boyfriend, but hey, it's my personal ad, ok? Fucking go write your own, what do you think this shit is easy? Try to be funny and entertaining too, otherwise I am likely to just trash your mail and then neither of us receives the benefit of anonymous hookup sex in the handicapped stall of the Civic Center BART station.
PS if you don't include a picture, I am not going to respond. I don't want to waste my time, as I stated before. If you respond with the standard personals drivel, I will post your email on the internet and mock you mercilessly.