Originally Posted: 2003-02-01 11:44pm
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Just had my 42nd birthday and I have come to a conclusion:

WOMEN ARE FROM MARS AND MEN ARE FROM EARTH

Yup, that's what I've decided. My theory generally centers around the comparison of male logic vs. female emotion. I've been married a long time and have 3 daughters. I also have a sister and a mom. One thing I have witnessed is that I am more logical than any of the women in my life. I consider my self pretty typical. Let's look at some examples:

Problem solving.
If there's a problem, I like other Earthlings search for SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM. What a concept. Why the Martians (women/my wife++) must get all upset about things. Just deal with it and move on for christ sake.

Biulding something.
I've built a lot of stuff and one thing I know for sure is that you should always take the time to think about how something goes together and how you're going to go about putting together before you start. Like putting together a tent. My wife just wants to dive on in, put it together by feel, trial and error. This approach is against my nature. When she does this I go get a beer and let her do her thing. Then she gets all mad at me for not helping. So I get sucked back in to the randomness and I don't like it one bit.

Dealing with jerks.
There's assholes everywhere if you haven't noticed. They work at the supermarket, they drive on the freeway, they are waiters and customer care represenatives. They're in front of you in line, they coach your kid, they sell you cars. You get the picture. So you can either just accept this as a fact of life, which it is, or you can make a big ole fuss about it everytime you have to deal with one these jerks, let them ruin your whole week, maybe even cry about it (!). I've noticed that these jerk encounters seem to be a lot easier for me (and other Earthlings) compared to women. Jerks are just jerks, it's not personal, relax and don't let them get to you.

Grooming
I think my wife is very attractive, right out of bed in the morning. So why if we go out does it take her an hour to get ready? It's certainly not for me, she looked great before the hour started. See, she needs it for herself. She needs to feel pretty to herself. And then there's that competition (I guess) with her friends and other women. Now you really start to lose me, these things are just not important to me. It takes me about 15 minutes to get ready, no matter where we're going. Shower, shave, put clothes on. What's the big deal? And why in the hell does my haircut cost $15 and her's costs $75. WTF

Shopping
As humans we have a few basic needs which require us to shop; food, shelter and clothing. Then we have less important things which also require shopping like transportation and entertainment. So you think about what you need or want, then you go buy it. That's the male approach. For women, this is an event not to be taken lightly. My wife is still puzzled (maybe even insulted) when I don't want to go shopping with her. Except when it comes to car shopping, then she has no interest. Now I think a $20k+ purchase should take more time and energy than a $75 pair of shoes. There I go being logical again. Or maybe she doesn't like car shopping because a car is a mechanical device, or car salesmen are all jerks (see above).

Debating or Arguing
For me a contrary opinion is just that, a different way of looking at something. If a debate occurs over a difference of opinion then each person should state their rationale for the opinion and give hopefully compelling evidence of why the opinion is valid. I believe this is the right way to debate, but it never works with my wife or daughters. The more matter-of-fact and logical I state my case the more agitated they become. It drives them crazy, to the point where they get defensive and sometimes even create a new reality. "I've been there a million times, you've never been there." Truth: she's been there 10 times, I've been there 6 times. Even if my rational is rock solid the debate becomes heated and personal. My wife says I'm passive agressive. Honestly, that's not my intent. Anyway, I never really win an argument, I just make my case then give up...and hope that someone was listening and maybe it will sink in later.

Anyway that's what I think. Sorry if I got anyone mad.

Signed,

another typical Earthling


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