My best friend is worth more then his weight in any precious metal. Great to crack jokes with or ON! Fun at parties! Will always help you when you move or clean up your grandma's backyard. Never complains! Cuss's out ex-girl or boy friends until they cry! Takes punches for you in bar fights! Always there to back you up in arguments or when you tell lies about how you scored the winning touchdown in the high school championships. Cry in front of him and he will never use it against you. Pee your pants and he will too, just to save you from embarrassment! How could you pass this up? You can't! Now give me a Giants Ticket you worhtless ingrates before I kick your teeth in!