Call me immature, childish, retarded, INSANE, violent, whatever.
I dont give a fuck.
Its MY shit, and i liked it.
So i have this studio quality CD burner and it rocks.
.....But its REAL picky about what it records. If the CD has the tiniest scratch in it, it rejects the CD.
Well being the thoughtful and awesome motherfucker that I am, I am recording a CD for my home boy, "Drive by truckers" (Highly reccommended by the way, good rock, imagine lynrd skynrd meets danzig....but more intelligent lyrically)
Well, i was on my 6th attempt at burning this CD, and on the last song, every time, my player would skip, then blink "ERROR"
I wasted 5 perfectly good brand new CDRs and a bout 6 hours in the process.
I dont know what happened next. Its all a blur. Its just not like me. Im usually a patient, reserved man.......BUT I LIKEDED IT.
........I LIKEDED IT A LOT.
MAN, I RIPPED THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT OF THE ENTERTAINMENT CENTER LIKE A KUNG FU NINJA AND WHIPPED THAT BITCH AT THE FLOOR WITH ALL OF MY STRENGTH. IT MOTHERFUCKING EXPLODED IN A HUNDRED PIECES. I GRABBED IT BY THE CORD, AND SWUNG IT AS HARD AS I COULD AT THE WALL (Solid killing blow, smack in the middle of a 2x4 stud)......AND IT CAME COMPLETELY APART. .....STILL INFURIATED, I JUMPED ALL OF MY 6 FOOT 2 INCH 230 LB SELF DOWN INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE SMOKING REMAINS WITH MY SIZE 14 WORK BOOTS.
....SATISFYING, ROCK SOLID CRUNCH.
DIE, MOTHERFUCKER DIE.
.....Still infuriated, breathing heavy with adrenaline and excitement, i begin eyeing up my shitty television, then my computer. For a brief moment, I almost did it.
It was freakin AWESOME. The sparks flew out of the wall when the cord broke in half, it gave a small puff of blue smoke when it disintegrated on the floor, pieces went everywhere, and MY ENTIRE ENTERTAINMENT CENTER LOOKS LIKE A WAR ZONE.
....A kinder man would have been upset.
a gentler man would have been more tactful.
......a saner man would have taken it to get repaired.
My fucken crazy ass is out 500 bucks, and i have no regrets, i could not have felt better if i had won the lottery, married a pornstar, or beat up an entire college campus full of blind sheep anti-everything, pro-stupidity protesters with my bare fists.
......Surveying the carnage, and judging by my level of euphoria and satisfaction, i would HIGHLY reccommend EVERYONE try this at least once in thier lifetime.
Right on par with great sex and bungee jumping---Combined.
....Next on the hit list?
-My loud ass refrigerator that wont stop running.
....Should look simply fucking BEAUTIFUL going off the 3rd floor balcony with the door ripped off and the sides punched in.