Originally Posted: 2004-09-13 10:45pm
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favorite this post +++++DO NOT SKIP THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!++++++++ hide this posting unhide

FOR SALE/TRADE/BARTER:

-CANS SIX THROUGH TWELVE OF ONE WEEK OLD BUD LIGHT TWELEVE PACK

-TWELVE OUNCES OF EXACTLY ONE PART WHISKEY, ONE PART WATER

(must provide valid I.D. for liquor purchaces! - THE COPS)

-TWO HUNDRED THIRTY-SEVEN BROWN M&M'S (OZZY MADE ME DO IT)

-ONE HALF PACK OF UNCLE BEN'S PREMIUM RICE

-ONE '89 COMMADORE AMIGO COMPUTING CONSOLE

-THREE (YES THREE!) MINT CONDITION YUGOS

-ONE $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE TO HANDY JACK'S MASSAGE PARLOR

+++++++++++++ SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY!!! ++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++ HEADDED TO JAIL +++++++++ ALL MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!++++++++++

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DO TO OVERWHELMING RESPONSE TO MY POST (THANK YOU VERY MUCH), I HAVE DECIDED TO ADD A LIST OF ITEMS THAT I CAN USE DURING MY STATE-SPONSORED VACATION.

-ONE GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD

OR

-A PARDON FROM THE TERMINATOR HIMSELF

BUT IF NOT . . .

-A CHASTITY BELT MADE FROM ANY NON-FERROUS METAL (MAGNETS ARE DANGEROUS)

-A PET SQUIRREL (PREFERABLY ONE TRAINED TO WARD OFF GANG RAPISTS)

-ANY ITEM THAT I CAN WHITTLE INTO A SHANK

-12-15 YEARS (OR TEN FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR) WORTH OF CIGARRETES

-DO-IT-YOURSELF NINJA MANUALS

-LOTS O' PORN

-A ONE WAY TICKET TO ANY COUNTRY W/OUT EXTRADITION LAWS

-ONE "EXIT ONLY" TATTOO FOR MY LOWER BACK

-OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT WILL HELP KEEP MY POOR VIRGIN ASS STAY JUST THAT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH
-STEVE


post id: 42384176