To our customers:
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Due to the increasing modernization of Wonka Industries, Ltd., we are phasing out our workforce of Oompa Loompas. They are being replaced with new sterilized robots that will not pilfer copious amounts of sugar, crap in the Chocolate River, or try to organize a union to get "paid." Their surliness will not be missed.
We have 19 Oompa Loompas available in varying sizes from 36" to 48" tall. They are all pretty much the same color (sallow orange) and come with Wonka Industries, Ltd., coveralls (I really don't want the clothes that they have been wearing for so long back, thanks).
If you are interested in acquiring an Oompa Loompa (and I know you are, Veruca) please send an email with the number of Oompa Loompas you wish and we will let you know when they will be available. You will need to come to the factory to pick them up.
As stated in the subject line, all Oompa Loompas are as is. We do not accept returns, so you must be certain you really want an Oompa Loompa. Be prepared to buy lots of sugar and cigarettes - the mainstays of the Oompa Loompa diet.
Thank you for your interest.
Mr. Willy Wonka
Wonka Industries, Ltd.
It is NOT ok for others to contact me about other Oompa Loompas!
this is in or around Wonkaville