You know you're a Marina chick when.....
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1. You're afraid to go to Balboa because you have gotten together with too many of the male patrons.
2. You have a toasted noah's bagel with lite cream cheese and a jambajuice for breakfast every morning and you can't figure out why your bebe boot cut black lycra pants are getting snug.
3. You've dated 18 men in the last four months and you're still single.
4. You have a crush on a bartender.
5. You have dated someone who used to date your roommate's best friend's sister's cousin, or your roommate.
6. You've had a Chambers Punch in the last two months.
7. You know that red is the "new black".
8. The only consideration when buying your cell phone was the weekend minute plan.
9. Your haircut costs more than a small car.
10. You need to blend two lip-pencils, plus a lipstick a gloss, just to get your shade.
11. You have a contraband tube of Retin-A from Mexico somewhere in your home.
12. About married friends...on the weekends you ask "What the hell were they thinking?" on weeknights you think "I bet she's getting a foot massage right now"
13. You've won bingo at Ace Wasabi.
14. The only time you ever cook a full meal is to impress a guy.
15. You feel that $25 is a bit "pricey" for a mani/pedi combo.
16. If the MAC store were to close, you'd picket.
17. You didn't think of "Swingers" as a hip, funny movie. To you it was a social documentary on the mysterious behaviors of single men. You took notes.
18. You regard e-mail as a flirting device with editing capabilities.
19. You have worn body glitter for no other reason than it's saturday night.
20. You have 18 pairs of black shoes, not including the ones in your strappy sandal collection.
21. You know the difference between midnight black, jet black, off-black, gray black, and black black.
22. You have no Full Fat items in your refrigerator. Except wine, because they don't make Cakebread Lite.
23. You have attended the Polk Street Fair, the North Beach Fair, and the Union Street Fair, but have never bought a craft. (There were crafts there?)
24. You own a Jetta, Saab 900, Audi, or RAV-4. It's about a year old, but it only has 12 miles on it because you take Muni to work & cab it on the weekends.
25. The 12 miles on your car are from going to Trader Joes that one time for Tuna Jerky, Toblerone, and wine.
26. You place the invention of self-tanner on the level of the wheel.
27. Johnny Love has hit on you.
28. You read "The Rules", thought they were bullshit, had a bad dating encounter, and raptly reread "The Rules" again.
29. You only feel like going to the gym on "thin days" (logic?).
30. You have driven taxi drivers crazy by telling them "No, we don't want to go here, let's go to another bar across town" - all because there are no cute guys in line.
31. You have given your phone number to a guy, he's called, you made a date, and you have absolutely no recollection of what he looks like.
32. You've bought new undergarments because you haven't done laundry in so long.
33. You secretly think that Surreal Neal of Super Diamond is kinda cute.
34. You've used the "It's not you, it's me" line at least once in the last year.
35. You've danced on the bar at Mars Cafe.
36. You've pulled an item from the laundry, sprayed a little perfume in it, waved it around, and declared "It's not so bad"
37. You've gone to a restaurant with a friend, ate the complimentary bread, split a salad, each had a bottle of wine and called it dinner.
38. You have made a visit to Good Vibrations in the last 3 months.
39. On a given Sat night, you have made a pre-dinner drink plan, a dinner plan w/ drinks, and a post dinner drink plan.
40. You have not taken the bus b/c they don't take ATM cards.
41. You go to Sports Bars to "play the game" v. watch it.
42. An average workout at Gorilla SPorts is 1 hour: 5 min makeup application/workout prep, 35 min chatting with pals, 15 min on treadmill, 5 min scoping the scene
43. You realize you have tapped out on all of your friend's friends as prospects and they all know each other.
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