You can count on the arrival of spring to bring many things - sun, birds, women's exposed ass cracks in low-slung jeans, flowers, and Beelzebub's magic fairy dust. Yeah, Beelzebub, aka Satan, sometimes goes by the name of Mephistopheles - he brings out the big guns in spring. It's called POLLEN, and it sucks my tight little ass.
Every spring, my enjoyment of sun and breeze is marred by the choking, sneeze-inducing, eye-watering, asthma-producing Devil Spew of Pollen. It causes me to morph from a reasonably attractive young girl to a snorting, sniffling, dripping, coughing, tearing, and very bitter red-eyed shrew.
I'm just looking outside my office window right now (as best I can look through eyes that are puffy slits), and I am not enjoying the scenery of the pretty trees with their pretty white fluffs of flowers, because I see the wind loosening the flowers, and like demonic snow, the pollen is flying. Flying straight into my mucus membranes and making me slowly die. I dream of taking others down with me as I go.
My head feels like an evil force removed my brain and took a large cotton ball and rammed it into my brain cavity. I can't smell anything, I wheeze when I breathe, and my allergy medicine is making me feel like the head zombie on the Dawn of the Dead. In short, I'm moving to Antarctica. Snow can't make you sneeze, can it? I'll just have to stay away from the penguin feathers...