Don't Forget Granny ... or Grandpa ... Whoever -- Tell 'Em You Love 'Em!
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I just put my Granny in the grave. She spent her life doting on us grandkids and was a hysterically funny rebel! Damn. I LOVED HER!
She spent her last few years in a relatively good and caring nursing home.
When I had to go back to watch her die and deal with all that stuff -- the staff of the nursing home said to me, "You know, your cards and little gifts and stuff meant sooooo much to her. She'd get so happy when we'd come in and tell her that she got something from her grandson."
So this is not a posting of guilt, instruction, or anything else.
I just want to say that I am pleased that I took the very few minutes to make it a point to send her cards, the occasional stuffed animal (like the talking chihuahua which gave her hours of pleasure), some candies or cookies.
I bought some of those 8-packs of Hallmark cards from Safeway. Ones with animals which she loved so much.
I addressed them all while on the phone on hold waiting for whatever. Stamped them. And then just would like every Sunday night while eating dinner, and before the Simpsons, just write, "Hey, Gram, how are you? I LOVE YOU!!!" and put in that pre-addressed & stamped envelope and toss into the mailbox on my way to the MUNI stop. It took less than a minute.
The staff at the nursing home would tell me that my Gram would hold on to that card all day long and show it off to the staff and say that "my grandson sent me this." In short, though miles away, that simple little card just MADE HER DAY and made her happy while she waited for her wonderful life to come to an end. I remember sending her that talking chihuahua I got at Walgreen's for what? $4.99? She squeezed that dang chihuahua to the staffs' bordeom every day, maybe ten times a day. I gave her more dang pleasure. And she'd always tell the staff and visitors that her grandson had sent this to her.
It did make me feel good that I'd done what I'd done and so many people told me how much those things meant to her. I did what I did because it was all that I could think of to help her and to let her know that she was LOVED during the final days -- of which she was acutely aware. She couldn't tell me what it meant to her, but when I was told by so many that she was so happy to get cards and those little gifts it brightened my life knowing that I'd brighted hers.
My Gram died at the age of 101. My God. She'd been through every war since WWI, the Depression, more dang stuff than just about any of us can imagine.
OK. I'll stop now. But if you have grandparents -- or parents -- or whomever. It only takes a moment or two to let them know that you love them. And instead of staring out the window of that nursing home, I know now that she'd hold that little card (or the talking chihuahua) all day with the reassurance that she was loved and someone cares.
What with my cell phone not working, the server going down, parking problems and other bummers of self-absorption ... I am SOOOOO happy that I was able to make Gram's last days just a little bit happier.
Just something to think about. There are those out there who would love to know that you love them. Do it now, please. They spent their lives caring about you. It doesn't take much to brighten their lives. And God, how much they love to hear it, see it, feel it. And KNOW it.
Please ... take a minute to let those you love know that you love 'em before it's too late.