Provocative Title to your ad - but there's "truth in them thar hills"...or something like that. This is a good one.
Me: 39 and 10/12th's
Girlfriend: 30 (been together a little under a year)
I moved to the City in 99 following a divorce from a no-kid marriage of 5 years. Specifically did so to enjoy being single and meet single, smart, high-quality women; hard to do in the suburbs...and as I found out, hard to do in the city as well.
Fortunately I'm lucky enough with genetics, education and presentation ability; to be able to meet and have women I find attractive agree to go out on a date. Not always, but most of the time. Conservatively! - between 1999 and 2003, had some dating events with 35-40 women of all types and ranged in age between 22 and 42. After not too much time it was easy to see there were types. To be fair, after a dating event or two, things would shape up and evaluated...some women I would be interested in dating again and they weren't reciprocating. Or I wouldn't be into it. So the attraction game is definitely a 2 way street. It broke down about like this. 30% didn't like me much, 40% I didn't like much, and 30% became friends/acquaintances I still know to this day. You should see my address book. Looks like the phone list of a woman’s charitable organization, but I digress....
Here's how I broke them down by category
1. HUSBAND HUNTERS: Usually over 32. About then if the woman is interested in re-producing 32-33 is when the biological big-ben starts bonging so loud you can hear it from across the room, at the restaurant and on the phone. These women are qualifying the shit out of you with probing questions. Bank account? Vices? Family background? Why are you available? (They're looking for problems) all kinds of shit. A lot of great women in this category, but way too focused and just too much work. Didn't want to get to know these very often.
2. CINDERELLA SYNDROMERS: Varied age ranges but usually 25 to 35. - Can you say vanity?....Marina chick? Well dressed, often attractive, sometimes very much so. Defining characteristic...ALWAYS carry an attitude not commensurate with their aesthetics package. (Cute ones think they're really hot, Hot ones are insufferable) Believed it when daddy said they were the prettiest girl on the block, when clearly they weren't. Many have daddy acceptance dysfunction and are looking for prince charming making 200K, rock solid good looks, loves the shit out of them and pays attention to every vapid thing they find interesting -(e.g. see "the bachelor(ette) shows and fashion mags) These women are usually the most rude, self aggrandizing and deluded. There is some cross pollination of Husband Hunters and Cinderella's. Husband Hunters tend not to be as vain.
3. POLITICOS: All ages - Political awareness is cool and admirable. When it becomes every subject and is related to every thing that comes up, it is not attractive to me. If I want to be preached to about the state of the planet, I'll seek that out. I just want to enjoy the evening and hopefully get laid. Is that too fucking much to ask? In this category you'll find the disenfranchised, hippy chicks, self described artistic, semi-lesbian and generally angry chicks. What I will give them is that if you can get past that, they may be the best in the sack. so for that I say SALUTE! and THANKS! Peace and love my sisters.
4. DAMAGED GOODS: Usually over 35/always over 30. Most (but not all) women that are single and approaching 40 (with our without kids) tend to exhibit a very poorly hidden anger at men in general. They will bring all the baggage possible and within a very short period of time you get to know that their ex was a manic depressive, ADD suffering, pot addicted, financial disaster with a tendency toward bi-sexuality. Given that, you'd think you'd be a friggin standout....but unlike the Husband Hunters (of which these women have graduated from to become damaged goods) they can't help but let their bitter disappointments of the past cloud their behavior today. It's tough. I feel bad for these women, in a lot of cases they did end up with dickheads that were abusive on some levels. This is who my friend in the original post about 40 year old hags was talking about. Here's to you pal!
5. MANEATERS: All ages. These are tough because after the politicos, these are the best in bed. They are almost always beautiful, and definitely always bring very strong attractive personalities to table. Their beauty is on a par with or surpasses that of the Cinderellas, but they aren't really qualifying for a husband, because they're not really looking for one. They're basically guys from a sexual perspective. And the man-eaters I tangled with were very professionally successful, so they didn't need financial help to live well. I dated one of these for about 6-7 months in total. I had about a 90 day shelf life before she would get bored and start "looking around" for a replacement. We dated in two three month stints over a year. Admittedly, the man-eaters are fun because you get to be with an incredibly desirable woman. I used to love giving the knowing look to a dude drooling all over her when we'd go out, without saying a thing I could look at a guy and clearly say..."Yup, dude, I'm going home to hit this like jackhammer in about one hour!" Damn that was fun, but alas, I knew it would come to an end. A key thing to remember about the man-eaters is under all that toughness, hides an insecure and scared little girl. I saw that rear its head toward the end of our thing. Actually at then end of that one, kind of pitied her. Ironic.
6. FINALLY -- THE GOOD ONES: All ages: but for my taste 27-33: These are the girls we're all looking for. Attractive to knock out. Great sense of humor (or at least shares the type you have), not insecure and perpetually seeking a guy to make themselves feel valuable, usually cheerful, doesn't feel threatened when you enjoy something she's not into and will let you do it (within reason certainly), smart and reasonably well read, but doesn't think they fucking know everything. If you glance at a pretty girl (and I don't mean leer, that's different) they don't flip out, because they're not insecure. They trust you and you trust them. They are great in bed and like having sex as much as we do. The problem is not that these girls are that rare. It's that they're always in relationships. Usually dating somebody you know, and a good guy would never cross that line. It's why Rick Springfield wrote "Jesse's Girl", he knew then what I'm talking about here. They're sought after by all of us...so you have to catch the right one at the right time. It's a crapshoot really.
Finally I have found one who fits into category six. Took four years and thousands of dollars in sushi and zinfandel and cosmos.....Don't know if it's going to be the end all but it feels great now.
So if you're one of the frustrated women who insist that there are no good straight available men in SF, and that's why you think you haven't met prince charming. See if you fit into #'s 1-5 above. Oh and also know that according to SF magazine that did that dating article last month: There are 12,000 more straight, single men in SF between 25 and 45, than there are straight single women.