I give up. I'm throwing in the towel. I am a defeated woman.
I've been screwed over for the last time. It's finally gotten through my thick skull that I cannot be trusted with a vagina. My vagina has led me down paths that no woman should walk. I don't know if I have a particularly sneaky and sadistic vagina, or if I'm just a stupid girl, but I have been FOOLED. Vaginas, or at least mine, are bad men attractors. My vagina keeps hooking me up with men who are hung but completely deficient in other categories. Categories like common decency and such.
I swear on my soon-to-be-sewn-up vagina, I am done with men. But men, I don't blame you for any of this. The blame lands squarely on my faulty vagina.
Because D.C. (if he could read, he would know I was talking about him, but my vagina picked a barely literate man, so I have nothing to fear) looked hot in those pants, and yes he had incredible vagina taming skills, but he was probably THE foremost motherfucking cockface in the entire state of California. Now I'm stuck dealing with his shitty face every day, and hmmmm...my vagina is no help now.
So vagina, that's it, consider yourself sewn. Because I'm going out on Valentine's Day and I DO NOT TRUST YOU ANYMORE. You had your chance and your time here is over. All I'm left with now is the remnants of losers and perverts. Thanks for the good times, vagina, sadly they were all too fleeting.