Free Spelling Lessons for all CL Posters (Revisions Galore)

Next, let me introduce you to a few of my friends. They've been abused of late, and I'd like to set the record str8.

your

Pronunciation: y&r, 'yur, 'yOr, 'yor
a possessive adjective.
as in, I'd love to see your beautiful cock.

you're

Pronunciation: y&r, 'yur, 'yOr, 'yor
a contraction of 'you' and 'are'.
as in, Were you aware you're biting my beautiful cock?

definitely

Main Entry: def·i·nite
Function: adverb
Pronunciation: 'de-f&-nit, 'def-n&t
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin definitus, past participle of definire
Date: 1553
1 : having distinct or certain limits.
2 a : free of all ambiguity, uncertainty, or obscurity. b : UNQUESTIONABLE, DECIDED.
so, when used as an adverb.
as in, I definitely don't want me no ugly chicks.

definately

does not exist. not a word. you know you're a redneck if...

there

Pronunciation: '[th]ar, '[th]er
Function: adverb
in or at that place -- often used interjectionally.
as in, Where is my dildo? Over there!

their

Pronunciation: [th]&r, '[th]er, '[th]ar
Function: adjective
of or relating to them or themselves especially as possessors, agents, or objects of an action.
as in, Their pad is da bomb!

they're

Pronunciation: [th]&r, '[th]er
a contraction of 'they' and 'are.
as in, They're amazing cock suckers!

its

Pronunciation: 'its, &ts
Function: adjective
of or relating to it or itself especially as possessor, agent, or object of an action.
as in, That luscious tit has popped out of its boulder-holder!

it's

a contraction of 'it' and 'is' or 'it' and 'has'.
as in, It's four a.m.! Where's my bra?

sense

Pronunciation: 'sen(t)s
Function: noun
a meaning conveyed or intended.
as in, I sense you're standing on my pussy.

sence

does not exist. not a word. your mama was a redneck if...

cents

Pronunciation: 'sen(t)s
Function: noun
a monetary unit equal to 1/100 of a basic unit of value.
so, plural form
as in, I'm giving you my two cents!

to

Pronunciation: t&, tu, 'tü
Function: preposition
1 a -- used as a function word to indicate movement or an action or condition suggestive of movement toward a place, person, or thing reached b -- used as a function word to indicate direction c -- used as a function word to indicate contact or proximity d (1) -- used as a function word to indicate the place or point that is the far limit (2) -- used as a function word to indicate the limit of extent e -- used as a function word to indicate relative position.
2 a -- used as a function word to indicate purpose, intention, tendency, result, or end b -- used as a function word to indicate the result of an action or a process.
3 -- used as a function word to indicate position or relation in time: as a : BEFOREb : TILL.
4 -- used as a function word to indicate addition, attachment, connection, belonging, possession, accompaniment, or response.
5 -- used as a function word (1) to indicate the extent or degree (as of completeness or accuracy) or the extent and result (as of an action or a condition) (2) to indicate the last or an intermediate point of a series.
6 a -- used as a function word (1) to indicate a relation to one that serves as a standard (2) to indicate similarity, correspondence, dissimilarity, or proportion b -- used as a function word to indicate agreement or conformity c -- used as a function word to indicate a proportion in terms of numbers or quantities.
7 a -- used as a function word (1) to indicate the application of an adjective or a noun (2) to indicate the relation of a verb to its complement or to a complementary element (3) to indicate the receiver of an action or the one for which something is done or exists and often used with a reflexive pronoun to indicate exclusiveness (as of possession) or separateness b -- used as a function word to indicate agency.
8 -- used as a function word to indicate that the following verb is an infinitive and often used by itself at the end of a clause in place of an infinitive suggested by the preceding context.
as in, So, you're here to play, huh?
OR
Function: adverb
Date: before 12th century
1 a -- used as a function word to indicate direction toward b : close to the wind 2 a : into contact especially with the frame -- used of a door or a window b -- used as a function word to indicate physical application or attachment
3 -- used as a function word to indicate application or attention
as in, ah... too literary to bother with. :)

two

Pronunciation: 'tü
Function: adjective
1 : being one more than one in number
2 : being the second -- used postpositively
as in, So I've only found two people to play, huh?
OR
Function: pronoun, plural in construction
1 : two countable individuals not specified
2 : a small approximate number of indicated things
as in, So the two of you want some noogie, huh?
OR
Function: noun
1: the second in a set or series
2: a 2-dollar bill
3: something having two units or members
as in, The two of spades is the lucky card.

too

Pronunciation: 'tü
Function: adverb
1 : BESIDES, ALSO
2 a : to an excessive degree : EXCESSIVELY b : to such a degree as to be regrettable c : VERY.
3 : SO.
as in, Ah-ha! So you want some noogie too!

pique (thanks to Craig C. for these!)

Pronunciation: 'pEk
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): piqued; piqu·ing
1 : to arouse anger or resentment in.
2 a : to excite or arouse by a provocation, challenge, or rebuff. b : PRIDE.
as in, Those 48DD's definitely piqued my interest!

peek

Pronunciation: 'pEk
Function: intransitive verb
1 a : to look furtively b : to peer through a crack or hole or from a place of concealment -- often used with in or out.
2 : to take a brief look : GLANCE.
as in, Can I have a peek at those 48DD's?

peak

Pronunciation: 'pEk
Function: noun
1 : a pointed or projecting part of a garment; especially : the visor of a cap or hat.
2 : PROMONTORY.
3 : a sharp or pointed end.
4 a (1) : the top of a hill or mountain ending in a point (2) : a prominent mountain usually having a well-defined summit b : something resembling a mountain peak.
as in, Do those 48DD's have snow on their peaks?

dominant

Pronunciation: -n&nt
Function: adjective
1 : commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others
2 : overlooking and commanding from a superior position
3 : of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance
4 : being the one of a pair of bodily structures that is the more effective or predominant in action
as in, I'm a dominant, in search of my submissive.
OR
Function: noun
1 : the fifth tone of a diatonic scale
2 a : a dominant genetic character or factor b : any of one or more kinds of organism (as a species) in an ecological community that exerts a controlling influence on the environment and thereby largely determines what other kinds of organisms are present c : a dominant individual in a social hierarchy.
as in, blah! next.

dominate

Pronunciation: 'dä-m&-"nAt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -nat·ed; -nat·ing
transitive senses
1 : RULE, CONTROL
2 : to exert the supreme determining or guiding influence on
3 : to overlook from a superior elevation or command because of superior height or position
4 : to have a commanding or preeminent place or position in
as in, My girlfriend loves to dominate me.
intransitive senses
1 : to have or exert mastery, control, or preeminence
2 : to occupy a more elevated or superior position
as in, This boy dominates.

discreet

Pronunciation: di-'skrEt
Function: adjective
1 : having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech : PRUDENT; especially : capable of preserving prudent silence.

discrete

Pronunciation: dis-'krEt, 'dis-"
Function: adjective
1 : constituting a separate entity : individually distinct.
2 a : consisting of distinct or unconnected elements : NONCONTINUOUS b : taking on or having a finite or countably infinite number of values.
synonym see DISTINCT.

hint: you want the first one (discreet).
as in, My wife would prefer we keep this affair discreet.

losers (thanks to Joseph for this one!)

Main Entry: los·er
Pronunciation: 'lü-z&r
Function: noun
one that loses especially consistently.
so, plural form
as in, Losers get lost!

loosers

well.... 'nuf said. :)

of course

Function: idiom
1: following the ordinary way or procedure 2: as might be expected.
as in, Of course I have a 9'' cock! Who doesn't, but some losers?!

of coarse

well, let's see. perhaps you'd like something between table salt and rock salt?

who

Function: pronoun
What or which person or persons.
Used as a relative pronoun to introduce a clause when the antecedent is a person or persons or one to whom personality is attributed.
as in, Who wants to bang my pussy?

whose

Function: adjective
The possessive form of who.
The possessive form of which.
as in, Whose dildo is banging my pussy?

who's

Contraction of who is.
Contraction of who has.
as in, Who's up for banging me with their dildo?
or, Who's been banging my pussy while I slept?

whos

nope. not a word. forgot something. it's a tiny little thing. but, well, it's an important one.

whom

Function: pronoun
The objective case of who.
as in, To whom are you pointing that dildo?
admittedly, this is a complicated one. However, if you follow the rule that 'who' should be used where you can use the pronoun 'I' or 'he', and use 'whom' where you can use the pronoun 'me' or 'him' (basically subject or object of a verb), you'll probably pass inspection.

tonight

Function: adverb
On or during the present or coming night.

tonite

ok. Admittedly, this is being bastardized so widely, it'll probably be general usage any day now. However, those who know smell a rat!

uninhibited

Pronunciation: "&n-in-'hi-b&-t&d
Function: adjective
free from inhibition.

uninhabited

Main Entry: inhabited
Function: adjective
having inhabitants.
so, the opposite of 'having inhabitants' would be 'not having inhabitants'

hint: you want the first one (uninhibited).
as in, Need a girl next door who's completely uninhibited with my 12' pet boa.

possible

Pronunciation: 'pä-s&-b&l
Function: adjective
1 a : being within the limits of ability, capacity, or realization b : being what may be done or may occur according to nature, custom, or manners
2 a : being something that may or may not occur b : being something that may or may not be true or actual.
3 : having an indicated potential.
as in, With the right 'ho, anything's possible!

possable

does not exist. not a word. your grandmama was a redneck if...

masturbate

Pronunciation: 'mas-t&r-"bAt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -bat·ed; -bat·ing
transitive senses : to practice masturbation on.
intransitive senses : to practice masturbation.

mas·tur·ba·tion (mstr-bshn)
Function: noun
Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse.
as in, Date me or my masturbating arm's going to fall off.

masterbate

does not exist. not a word. your granddaddy had 17 dogs and lived in a doublewide if...

compliment

Pronunciation: 'käm-pl&-m&nt
Function: noun
1 a : an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially : an admiring remark b : formal and respectful recognition : HONOR.
2 plural : best wishes : REGARDS.
as in, I've often received compliments on my technique.
OR
Function: transitive verb
1 : to pay a compliment to.
2 : to present with a token of esteem.
as in, Quickest way to my bed is to compliment me on my technique!

complement

Pronunciation: 'käm-pl&-m&nt
Function: noun
a : something that fills up, completes , or makes perfect b : the quantity or number required to make a thing complete; especially : the whole force or personnel of a ship c : one of two mutually completing parts : COUNTERPART.
as in, His hands complement his arms well.

expenses

Main Entry: ex·pense
Pronunciation: ik-'spen(t)s
Function: noun
1 archaic : the act or an instance of expending : EXPENDITURE.
2 a : something expended to secure a benefit or bring about a result b : financial burden or outlay : COST. c : an item of business outlay chargeable against revenue for a specific period
3 : a cause or occasion of expenditure.
as in, I'm a high-class bimbo! I need a man to take care of all my expenses.

expences

does not exist. not a word. don't try to impress me with this one, 'cause I know better.

soul mate

Main Entry: soul mate
Function: noun
a person temperamentally suited to another.
as in, I'm searching night and day in casual encounters for my one and only soul mate!

sole mate

well, i suppose you could use this if you were a flat fish, in search of your better half! or, maybe if you were a shoe.

'

used to indicate foot units.
as in, I'm 6' tall, blonde hair, blue eyes.

"

used to indicate inch units.
as in, My well-equipped tool stands hard as granite at 6".

and, YES! I've seen a request for a man "...with a 9' tool to satisfy my wife!" I speak as a normally wild, daring, adventurous woman: "OUCH!!!"

abbreviations

str8

meaning, straight

st8

doesn't work. unless you're talking about The Great State of California, don't drop the 'r'.

hetero

meaning, heterosexual, straight.

hetro

doesn't work. not a straight variant of retro.