Originally Posted: 2003-12-05 11:51pm
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favorite this post Zombies Wanted! hide this posting unhide

Looking to recruit a legion of 20-30 undead individuals to walk slowly, but methodically and purposefully in line.

Brain Remuneration DOE, but essentially I would like to lead an army of the undead into San Francisco's streets. We will also search for roadkill, orange colored objects, black cats and sometimes take 'brains' snack breaks.

I am a very good Zombie-Lord, and always treat my filth-soldiers with true R.I.P. style and respect.

I'm not talking about the "Thriller"(TM) zombies either. I really need you to be agile here, because many of the cities cab drivers are quite haphazardous in their navigation of this cities streets. I mean you're already dead, but nothing makes me look bad like a platoon of highly disciplined immortals sans one. You can be a homosexual zombie, a black zombie...I don't discriminate. Special consideration will be given to zombie ninjas. Also, as we walk the streets on-end our mantra will be:

"Let The Moon Rain Blood Upon the Outer Sphere of Jehemerashet as the Days of Darkness Begin"

I know it's a little tricky at first, but that's why you are the high class zombies of the west coast.

One thing is though, (and I want to make this as clear as possible) I am not interested in really lethargic living people...It's very important that you are of the profane and blissless order of the ones who have crossed the proverbial river Styxx. Seriously.

Undead Only!

post id: 20433992