Okay folks. We have here, for your purchasing pleasure and further enjoyment, TWO (2) kinds of bikes. One rolls about the city on wicked hot rubber wheels of radness, the other sits in your livingroom and works tirelessly to give you a great ass.
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Bike #1 : Hi. I'm bike #1. You may have seen me me being ridden around Golden Gate Park by a a super-cool chick with a maroon helmet. (She's pretty hot, ain't she?) Anyway, I am a chrome Trek 800 with red accents, singletrack series, 7 speed with a shimano v-brake. I'm a fairly heavy mountain bike, and I kick ass. I mean. Think about it. See that rocky, dangerous-looking path? Man, I just slide right up in there.
My owner bought me less than a year ago for $200, but, to my despair, she barely used me, so she'll let me go for $100 OBO. Please give me a good home, it's boring as hell in this apartment.
CIAO! - bike #1
Bike #2: Yo whassssup. I'm uh..yeah, i'm a stationary bike n shit. So I like...ya'll ride me why ya watch tv, and I'm all cool with that, you know. So like. I'm uhhh....I'm a Cardiomax 550R Recumbent...meaning like..i got a seat with a back, you know, so you can lean back and smoke a blunt while you get your fitness on. I also got a computer goin' on, with lots of programs and resistance levels, so like...I adjust to fit you, man. It's all good. I was bling-blngin' back in the day, 'bout a year and a half ago, for $400, so I'm up in your crib for $250 OBO. (cause she used me even less than that young hot thang above, yo.) Or maybe trade for one of them budonk-adonk elliptial trainers.
But ya know...let's talk about yo' ass. Cause you ride me for like, shit, forty five minutes a day, and you'll move, girl, like yo ass on fire. Like yo ass on fire.
Word- bike #2
So there you have it, folks. Send an email if you'd like to give these kids a fine-ass home.