Due to the recent success of reality based TV shows, my company is launching a new show that will allow viewers to see just how nasty roommates can really be. We have 14 berths available.
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Survive for 6 months the torment of your fellow roommates and you will receive $500. In addition, all food and lodging will be provided for. An in-house infirmary will be set up and is considered off limits from roommate attacks. If the on-site doctor considers your injuries too severe for you to continue, you will forfeit your spot in the house and fail to win the $500.
Make no mistake, this is not for the faint of heart. Expect to be attacked by any and all means and have your most intimate wounds filmed and broadcast on TV. You too, can be a star on television. No longer is television reserved for the pretty and good looking people. Now, anyone willing to undergo, blunt trauma, severe burns, maiming, and vicious epithets can be famous.
What's that sound behind the door? Could it be Kelly the CPA lurking with a frying pan of hot hot grease fresh off the stove, waiting for the right moment to fling it at your face?
What are those piles of sawdust on the floor? Could it be that Dan the fireman was weakening the foundation of the staircase?
Only time will tell who will possess the wit and reflexes to survive "When Roommates Attack!"
You will be housed in a very large mansion that will provide for multiple hiding spots from which your roommates can attack you and vice versa. Set in lush and exclusive Pacific Heights, you will give little thought to your idealic surroundings as you fend for your life inside this hellish enclave you will call home. You may quickly lose electricity as roommates learn to harness this power for their own purposes. Water and gas may also quickly be demolished. Californians and Third World Natives will have the advantage here. You are not allowed to bring anything to the house except one garbage bag of clothes and it is suggested you not bring anything you care for tremendously.
You must pay $250 up front for insurance.
If interested, please contact the above address.
When Roommates Attack Productions