Originally Posted: 2001-08-30 11:20am
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favorite this post Professional Slacker Seeks Work hide this posting unhide

Being a dot com casualty, I find that I have become indolent, jaded, and, most of all, disillusioned by this 'Blessed' American way of life.

And yet, being that this exodus of economic vitality has left behind a sea of boarded up commercial spaces, overpriced rents, and embittered people in its wake, I find that survival is still a necessity that has persevered.

And so, having been faced with innumerable rejections from job listings that are really not that appealing to begin with, I have outlined a list of criteria that delineate the ideal job for me.

*Salary of at least 150K plus stock options
*2 hour minimum lunch period with bar tab covered by expense account
*Unlimited access to internet during work time
*Being allowed to say, "F**k you" to supervisor and middle managers as necessary without repercussion.
*Taking dumps on company time permissable.
*Embezzlement of company coffers is tolerated to a degree
*Sexual harassment is also tolerated to a degree
*No requirement to stay after 2:00 in the afternoon
*No real work production is required

Well it seems as though I have just described the typical government job. However, a job like this in industry would not be unheard of...particularly at the executive level.
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post id: 1652779