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"Rocky" is a 9 yr old purebred Jack Russell Terrier that would be a perfect fit in your family home.
Some of his more endearing qualities include:
Sport shitting in the house as a form of revenge when owners leave the house for more than 15 minutes
Peeing on people: owners and strangers alike (this "trick" is a lot of fun at the beach or at the company picnic)
Getting into trash cans and spreading contents throughout the house (also used as a form of revenge when owners leave the house for more than 15 minutes)
Uncontrollable non-stop barking
Biting humans whenever possible (he especially likes biting small children)
Eating cat food
Destruction of property
Hiding next to unsuspecting human feet and launching "surprise attacks" as if to say, "you’ve got it coming for standing too close to me"
Running away from home and dodging cars in busy intersections
Taking mouths full of doggie kibble to other rooms in the house to eat and "distribute" behind furniture
Extremely smelly farts
Jumping on top of furniture and breaking any fragile items that might be in his way
Digging multiple deep holes in an otherwise, very well manicured garden
Drinking ocean water and then returning it to the world in the form of his own special "ocean blend butt soup" or sandy vomit
Click on the link below for more details on this wonderful breed:
P.S.-This posting is a joke. Unfortunately (for me), my wife would never allow me give away her precious and spoiled, shit-slinging sidekick. I am just using Craigslist as a vehicle for my own form of therapeutic rant. My apologies to anyone who read this and became legitimately concerned for the dog's being well-being. He has a fine and undeserved loving home.