CRAIGSLIST FLAKES + BURNING MAN FLAKES = WORST KIND OF FLAKES!
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YOU all know who you are!
YOU want to sell me your tarps or furry boots or furry chaps or furry goggles or dome thingy or stupid bike that you used at last year's BM Festival, so you post it for sale on craigslist. Cool. BUT: you don't know where it is, or you've lost the key to your storage area, you're not speaking to your ex-roommate/spouse/coworker/former camp/tribe mate. You don't know when you'll be home, or "back in the country", or you're "uncertain" how much you want to sell it for. Additionally, I'm supposed to be on stand-by for this amazing purchase, because: you are possibly, maybe, but definitely-want-to-keep-your-options-open, because you're probably/maybe/god-willing/if the stars align going to Burning Man this year. Seriously, I read your ad. You said that you wanted to sell your old Burning Man stuff to fund this year's trip to BM....but then when I wanted to buy it, you said you didn't want to sell it ...... because you might be going. This is the kind of thing that gives Southern CA and BM a bad name.
YOU want to rent me your old RV for the week. IF we: pick it up, find a shop that will do the $1200 in repairs it needs and the pay Cruise America day rates for it. Dude, I said, we can't pay top market rates for something......that doesn't even run. Not to mention you are too stoned to post a working phone number. Believe me. I NEVER thought we would rent from CriuseAmerica. This is my 7th Burn, and when we've rented RVs (4 times), we've always rented from the little guy. Dear Cruise America Fillmore: I love you and I apologize for all the anti-corporate statements I have made about you. Please forgive me and I thank you for not being stoned when we called.
YOU want to buy my two extra Burning Man tickets that I offered for sale for face value, with receipts. Cool. BUT: you want to come after 9:00 pm, but don't really want to commit to that so maybe tomorrow, or if not then, then definitely Saturday....if your friend from Portland is there by then. Or you want a "miracle gift ticket" which means I'm supposed to sell it to you for nothing because you woke up today with the idea that, oh yeah right! Burning Man is a gift economy, with lots of strangers just standing by to make sure that you get a free ticket. Or you make an appointment to come by my house and pick up and buy my tickets, and there are SO many of you like this, but you don't show and don't call. And you even told me "I'm good for the tickets, don't sell them to someone else." Which someone else are you referring to? You mean the one guy in Santa Barbara County who came to pick them up when he said he would, and had cash? Yup. I bailed. I sold the tickets to that guy! It really wouldn't have mattered if he was everything that Burning Man supposedly doesn't stand for. He showed up and and had the correct amount of cash. He could also write a complete email sentence AND could make a phone call and leave a message. I think it was love at first sight.
I know there is a place for Burning Man/Craigslist Flakes in Heaven. But until we meet there, let's agree to maintain a friendly distance. I'd say about 1000 miles would do it.
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