Originally Posted: 2003-05-14 2:44pm
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favorite this post behemoth for sale! hide this posting unhide

Hello, Bay Area!
For a limited time, you, yes, YOU, can purchase your very own land yacht!

the beast:

Due to a fortunate cash influx and a desire for reliable transportation, I have recently purchased a car that is actually younger than I am. Therefore, I must needs sell my baby.

big ol' baby eyes:

This 1976 Dodge Aspen is completely unique! (I think the other ones all broke down long ago.) It comes complete with four round wheels (wow!) and a FUNCTIONING engine which, when its petroleum-based fuel is ignited, transfers its power to the wheels and MAKES THEM TURN!!! Huzzah! Instant transportation! All you pale-faced, red-eyed, antisocial Craigslisters are now able to leave the house without shying away from attractive members of the opposite sex on the sidewalk, or being rubbed up against by large sweaty men on Muni. Yay!

the dash:

My car's innards are completely functional, quite impressively so for a badly-designed car of its age. The transmission and radiator have been recently replaced, the alternator and battery are new, and it has had quite a bit of restorative tinkering done under the hood, thanks to my friendly neighborhood mechanic. It is quite thirsty for petroleum products, however, and one of the radiator hoses leaks slightly.

The inside is all blue vinyl, perfect for sticking to the backs of your thighs on a warm day. There is a big hole where the glove box used to be.

the hole:

This hole was made by the bony, bony knees of my boyfriend's excessively long legs cracking the plastic every time I came to a stop over the course of a year. Eventually it all fell out.

bony, bony knees:

The knees do not come with the car. They belong to my boyfriend and I love them dearly. (And no, the scars are not a result of destroying my glove box.)

The Beast is missing one hubcap, and has several scars, none of which were acquired while I owned it. To my knowledge, it has never been in a serious accident.
The Beast is my baby, and I hate to sell it, but I cannot afford to keep two cars in this city. If you are interested in owning this fine specimen of Detroit engineering, send me an email and come take a looky.

post id: 11314545