Originally Posted: 2005-05-25 12:43pm
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favorite this post Final Call For Contest Entries -- Michael Jackson Suicide Contest hide this posting unhide

I predict that Michael Jackson’s sexual abuse trial will end in his suicide. Further, I predict that his death will be by overdose of sleeping pills, that it will occur in the very early morning (say, around 1:30 AM) on June 17th, and that he will be found in the master bedroom of his Neverland home.

I propose a contest. The winner of the contest will be the one who selects the time of MJ’s suicide the most closely. In the case of near-ties, correct selection of the method and place of suicide will be given weight. I shall serve as judge, and my judgment will be final and, likely, capricious.

Prizes are as follows:

Grand Prize: An autographed 8x10 framed picture of my gorgeous dog, Nukka.

Second Prize: A white right-hand glove, size man’s medium.

Third Prize: A bootlegged MP3 of Michael Jackson’s “Leave Me Alone”, sent to the email address of the winner’s choice.

Obviously, if Michael Jackson does not commit suicide, the game is canceled, and prizes will not be awarded. Death that is not ruled suicide, but is suspicious, will be treated as suicide for the purpose of this contest at my sole discretion. Unsuccessful attempts at suicide do not count, although anyone who comes close to identifying the time of Michael Jackson’s attempted suicide will receive due mention in this forum.

My friends, family, and pets are disqualified from this contest. Entries must be submitted before the beginning of jury deliberation, whenever that may be. This contest will conclude upon Michael Jackson’s acquittal, the dismissal of the charges against him, or the completion of his sentence.

Submit your entries by responding to this post. To improve your odds of winning, be sure to include the following:

Date and time of Michael Jackson’s suicide

Method of suicide

Location of suicide

The name or pseudonym by which you wish to be identified in this forum, should you win this contest.

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