Originally Posted: 2005-03-07 12:01pm

favorite this post Do the world a favor. Close your fricking blinds.

Dear Neighbor,

I will admit, you are a very interesting neighbor to say the least. You always have your blinds open, for the whole world (okay, for me and the people in the apartment above me) to see into your apartment. You donít have much furniture...okay, you donít have ANY furniture...but you do have a kick-ass TV that, if I really need to, I can check the score of the game Iím not watching because I had my cable disconnected. Thatís cool. You use your entire living room as your laundry hamper and rubbish dump...it also makes me feel better my sometimes slightly disheveled apartment. Thanks for the ego boost Ė sometimes I really get down on myself about not picking up after myself, or leaving my dishes undone for a day or two.

The fact that you walk around naked in your apartment is fine, I guess. Itís great that you feel so comfortable with yourself and your body. The time I forgot to close my blinds, and you saw me in my underwear was fairly embarrassing, but I got over it. I can also deal with the fact you like to get into the shower and hack up half of your lung each morning because you smoke like a chimney. Itís highly annoying, but I have an ex-husband. Iím great at blocking out certain disgusting bodily functions performed by a male.

Saturday night though, this went a little too far. I was attempting to have a nice, civilized dinner with some friends of mine, when I hear ďOh my GOD, Oh my GOD!!!" being screamed from my bedroom. It is my friend, and he is looking out of my window into your apartment.

And there you are, at your computer, with your pants around your ankles, jacking off. You have both of your computers going Ė your laptop AND your desktop going with various types of porn. I know this is a completely normal human function, but come on Ė if youíre going to do it, do it like the rest of usÖwith your blinds SHUT. I donít think my dinner guests, or I, should have been subjected to your masturbation techniques, or the fact that you can do it for over an hour and a half. You turned my *somewhat* civilized friends into total voyeurs. They couldnít stay out of my room, and not because it was hot, but it was like a train wreckÖthey just had to check in to see if you had finished yet. I think the funniest part was when they pulled out my 70-300mm Nikon zoom lens to see how small you were. Furthermore, I completely lost my appetite Ė and I was really, really looking forward to eating the meal I had spent hours preparing. Thanks a lot, asshole.

Please, please, please do me a favor. Close your blinds, windows, curtains or whatever. Itís fine that you look at porn and beat off, but itís not okay that you are subjecting unsuspecting people to you performing that particular act. Iíd really appreciate not having to waste my valuable time in therapy because youíre too fucking lazy and inconsiderate to close your goddamned blinds.

this is in or around Downtown San Diego

post id: 62703081

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