Originally Posted: 2004-08-20 1:31pm
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favorite this post Take my Sister-in-law please hide this posting unhide

Please take my sister-in-law.

She is 21, very cute, 5'3, average build with long curly brown/blond hair, photographs really well, with brown eyes, a jewish princess with no job, no money, no schooling and currently no prospects living in the Inland empire. She is semi-intelligent and has the makings of a good artist if she could focus on something. She would like to get off the streets of the Inland Empire and live in a nice house in San Diego, Phoenix or Los Angeles.

Preferably she will loaf on your couch, eat your food, watch your TV, and take your money and steal your belongings. Perhaps she will clean your house if she feels like it and cook you food. She will definitely shriek at you. She likes the internet and will surf the web and play games all day if you let her.

Ideally, she would like a handsome guy with money to spend on her and take care of her so she doesn't have to work. She likes dancing, going to bars, making friends. She is extremely extroverted and friendly. I am sure she is a fun chick if you like that kind, but again, i'm 12 years older with a graduate degree in software engineering, and not really into her.

Ideally, I would like somebody to take her, marry her, straighten her up, support her, give her self esteem, pay for an education, cloth her in trendy clothing and treat her like the Jewish princess that she it. She is a good actress and can appear kind and compassionate when the mood suits her. She is good with kids, up to a point, and very good with animals. My guess is that if you work really hard with her and spend a lot of money, she might be thankful, but more than likely, she won't.

She needs a driver's license, a car, car insurance, a visit to the dentist, orthodontics, gynecologist (don't sleep with her until she's cleared on the STD's), a visit to the lawyer to help clear up her arrest warrants, a new wardrobe, her own bathroom and bedroom, and money. An older man would work, she needs a father figure. Really this person needs to have a lot of patience, some money, and like to rescue people. A codependent person looking for a relationship might fit this bill.

Take her while she's skinny and a size 8-10 after 2 1/2 years on meth. She's currently off drugs, which I don't know if that is a positive or a negative (again the personality issue). If she stays off the drugs and loafs on the couch, she will be a size 18-22 in about a year. If you get her a personal trainer more than likely she can maintain the 8-10 if the trainer can get her to work out.

I think that Princess has potential, but we don't know how to get her fired up and don't have the time, the money and patience. We've seen faint glimpses of the light bulb sparking, but it always seems to go dim rather quickly. We did manage to get her into Community College and were going to pay for it, but she never did follow up with any of the important questions, like "when does school start?" or calling the program or financial aid counselor, taking assessment tests or registering for classes, or giving us a call and letting us know that she wasn't interested in going.

Additionally, when the grandma and father dies, she might be worth some money, but then she might not. It's really a crapshoot.

The princess has improved, according to my father-in-law. He says he believes that she's off drugs because she's getting fat again.

As an additional added bonus, you can keep my father-in-law too and be the preferred family member of choice, since he will be closer to you. He can visit you on the weekends.

Basically I can't take her because I already have a Jewish Princess Cat that fits the above description for the most part (sleeps, loafs on couch, demanding, eats my food, shrieks at me) and she would be mad at me if there were two Jewish princesses in the house. She has enough trouble with the male cat.

If you live in Northern California, please do not respond. That's too close to me.

If you are interested to the rights to this story, there's a couple sitcoms, 2-5 movies of the week and 1 major blockbuster motion picture.

cats are OK - purrr
dogs are OK - wooof
this is in or around San Diego

post id: 39982285